Stress in Children.....
What's Normal and What's Not
A certain level of stress and worry is normal and healthy for children. In fact, it's officially called "eustress", which is healthy stress or stress that gives positive feelings. This type of stress is often a result of trying new things, maintaining friendships and engaging in daily routines. Eustress propels children forward and gives them a sense of fulfillment. We don't worry about eustress. We do worry about "distress". Distress occurs when a child is unable to adapt to or becomes overwhelmed with life situations or responsibilites. Distress typically has negative implications for children and needs to be addressed sooner rather than later. Even the youngest of children can be impacted emotionally, behaviorally and physically by stress.
Some typical behaviors that may indicate distress in a child:
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Increased aggression
Isolating from family and friends
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Unusual episodes of crying
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Sudden bedwetting
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Change in eating and sleeping habits
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Frequent tantruming
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Nervous, jittery or agitated behaviors
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Stomach aches, headaches or other physical complaints
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Troubles at school
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Separation anxiety
Remember that all children may experience some of these behaviors at different points in their development. Let children know that everyone experiences stress and that feelings of anxiety, anger and loneliness are normal. If the behaviors persist, cause significant anxiety or problems at school, it's worth a conversation with the pediatrician, school and/or a professional counselor. A more formal evaluation may be in order.
A few hints to minimize stress in your child's life...
- Do not underestimate the power of sleep and nutrition. No less than 8 hours of sleep each night. Cut down on sugar and caffeine. Insist on hot, home cooked meals.
- Talk, talk, talk. Set regular time aside to check in with your child about friends, school and family. Even if you don't agree with their thoughts and feelings, be a sounding board. Internalized, unspoken feelings are a major source of stress.
- Get your child involved in physical activity. Team sports or simple bike rides and walks are a necessity for successful management of stress.
- Prepare children for upcoming stressful situations. This includes the big ones (relocations, school changes, etc.) to the smaller ones (doctor's appointments, tests, even vacations). Come up with a plan about how he/she can cope with the situation at hand.
- Don't overschedule your children with extracurricular activities. More isn't better. Kids need time to relax, enjoy free play and even be bored!
- Remember that we can't completely protect our little ones from stress. Don't deal with it for them. Helping your child developing solid coping skills is an amazing gift.
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