Dear Dr. Jane, I've put on a few pounds lately and I just don't feel sexy. It's killing my sex drive. I know I can lose the pounds, but in the meantime, how do I feel my best? (By the way, my husband doesn't care about the weight at all and always tells me I look good)
Answer: You may have the cart before the horse. While you are feeling less sexy since you put on weight, it's possible that there is something else at play that caused you to gain weight in the first place.. leaving you with no sexual desire.
Especially since your weight has no negative impact on your husband and he still finds you sexy, it may be your "weigh" ( way) of dealing with something you are not happy about or liking about your sex life…. especially because your weight is killing it!
So i would suggest you look at what you might like to change… is it the frequency? too much, too little?
Is it the time of day you are having sex? Are you unhappy with not enough foreplay? Would you like your husband to change his technique, go slower/faster?
Do you want more kissing?
Think about what might be missing for you, and then talk with your husband and let him know in a positive way:
"I would love it if…. we had sex in ( whenever you would like it); if you could kiss my neck; if we could go slower" and see if he's willing to make some changes with you.
Then you will not have to bury your feelings with food and disconnect from your desire.
Let us know how you make out. Good luck. Remember, 'sexy' is a state of mind!
To all GalTimers, what's the thing that makes you feel least sexy? Leave us a comment!