Question: Reality TV is spawning so many romances these days, are we all becoming 'love at first sight' addicts? Is love at first sight for real... do these manufactured romances stand a chance...and what is the best way for us to keep a grip on the real reality when it comes to romance?
Answer: Reality TV has, in fact , blurred the lines of what is fiction and happens on television, and what is reality that takes place in real life.
It's no wonder it has become confusing for people to know what is realistic to expect when it comes to relationships.
Love at first sight goes back to "chemistry" and falling in love with someone based on how attracted you are to them.
In the movies and on television where all the beautiful people are, "instant love" happens all the time. (Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad fans: Think Trista and Ryan, Ashley and JP, Ali and Roberto. There's also Love in the Wild's Mike and Samantha.) In reality, chemistry is comprised of lots of different ingredients , of which physical attraction is one element. Personality, values, morals, all factor in big time.
If the person is sensitive, thoughtful, considerate, funny --- all play a huge part in keeping romance alive. If you don't mesh, things go bust pretty quickly.
So while a manufactured romance is the new age "blind date", all it really does is give people the opportunity to get to know the person better and discover if all these other major aspects of a relationship fall into place.
While we see more and more made-for-tv romances fizzle --or explode--- shortly after (or even before) a show finale hits the airwaves (think Jake and Vienna --seen here pre public meltdown!), it begs the question: Can reality show romances stand the test of time?
Sure! If people can remain clear and focused as to what they are looking for in a partner, know that beauty is only skin deep, know that the accelerated broadcast dream dates are simply a microcosm that serves as the start of discovering the deeper qualities of a person, then manufactured romances can potentially take root.
You can 'manufacture' your own real-life love stories. When you're swooning in that initial 'he's-so-hot-I-think-I'm-in-love" feeling, take a moment to enjoy and allow the time to let romance build as you let the lust carry you through to the deeper, more meaningful traits that turn to love. On the other hand, if the feeling fades, you'll have your answer there as well (hopefully before there's a ring on your finger!)
As for our TV lovebirds? Heck, we're all 'rooting' for the contestants. Who doesn't love a good love story?
Jane Greer, Ph.D., is a nationally known marriage and family therapist. Her latest book: What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. She is the author ofHow Could You Do This to Me? Learning to Trust after Betrayal, The Afterlife Connection: A Therapist Reveals How To Communicate With Departed Loved Ones , Gridlock: Finding The Courage To Move On In Love, Work And Life and Adult Sibling Rivalry. More at DrJaneGreer.com
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