Ever have a conversation with your husband, trying to nail down what he and his buddies talked about the night before, and all you can get out of him is “not much” or “stuff?” Well, speaking as a guy, there was most definitely a whole lot more said over beers than that, though men don’t always see it all as noteworthy. Of course, there is also stuff we just aren’t going to tell you about.
Allow me to pull back the curtain on what married guys really talk about, and let you decide if it’s what you already expect...and if it’s worth all the worry.
Television
If you’re interested in finding what a quick ‘hit-n-run’ married guy conversation topic might be, look no further than your living room TV. Much like women, guys love talking about their favorite shows. Of course, we’re not doing recaps of our favorite moments from The Bachelorette or Project Runway. On Monday, we’re talking about last night’s Mad Men episode. If you hear juvenile, male laughter at your next dinner party, some guy probably told a Family Guy joke, or reenacted the latest SNL sketch. Very rarely are we talking about Glee, despite how brilliant this past season has been.
The “X” Factor (usually sports)
In this conversation equation, “X” is whatever niche topic your man is really into talking about. For most guys, it’s usually sports or sporting hobbies like fishing and golf. If he’s more of a geek (like me), then it could be nerdy stuff like comic books and video games. Plenty of married guys love to talk about their Xbox 360 Madden game rosters and strategies. Trust me ladies, regardless of the topic it’s all annoying guy talk and you likely don’t want any part of it.
Sex & ‘Hot’ Women
This is the topic that wives are probably the most interested reading about, but it’s most likely not what would be expected. Married dudes don’t typically lounge around like the Sex & The City gals, talking about sexual matters over cocktails.
I’ve noticed a strange dynamic after becoming a married man. The ‘locker room’ conversations of my early twenties, bragging and joking about sex, seems very wrong when thirty or forty-something guys are now talking about their wives, the mother of their children. If we are talking about sex with our wives, it’s usually about “not getting any unless I take out the garbage” and awkward jokes like that. There are some men who talk about their affairs or sometimes talk really nasty, but chances are you already suspect or already know if there are any of those guys amongst your husband’s friends. You probably don’t have to worry about being the topic of conversation, unless that’s your husband, or he’s out with that guy.
I won’t lie. Men DO talk about women. It can be anything from discussing the latest Angelina Jolie movie to ranking the hotness of various women at the local chicken wings restaurant. Occasionally, married guys will sit with rapt attention, listening to the sexual exploits of our single guy friends. So be warned, ladies. We do talk about sex, though it’s not necessarily about you.
Gadgets & The Internet
Technology has become so pervasive in our social lives that it naturally finds its way into our ‘offline’ conversations. Instead of cavemen, bragging about the brilliance of our campfires, we now size up each other’s HDTV media setup. We love to brag about which smartphone is better, or console each other about whose cell phone service is the least reliable. We exchange snippets from our daily Twitter and Facebook browsings. As a matter of fact, many of my conversations with my married guy friends have now become mostly quick Facebook interactions, so all the distractions are out of the way before we meet-up online to play Modern Warfare 2. (I’ve never been a huge football fan, but I’ve been roped into plenty of conversations about which online fantasy football portal is the most effective. )
Family & Relationships
I’ve always had an awkward dynamic with the husband of one of my close female friends. I’m sure he didn’t like a young, single dude always hanging around with his wife. Once I got engaged, he lightened up a little, and after I got married the tension between us was nearly gone. I’ve found that now that we’re both fathers and married men, we have so many more things to talk about. Real things, fatherly things.
Comparing notes about parenthood is social currency gold among married men. We brag about our kids, complain about our parents and in-laws, and share all sorts of Daddy trade secrets. Heck, I’ve had luck just meeting some of my other married guy friends through playground trips and preschool functions. They say that becoming a parent changes everything for the better, and that certainly includes the quality of the conversation.
Got a question for the GALTime Guy? Send him your questions at galtimeguy@galtime.com
