He did you wrong. Now you just want to enact your revenge. So how do you get even, the right way--without getting hurt? We asked Christine Gallagher, author of “The Woman’s Book of Revenge” and founder of the RevengeLady.com website. She lists the top rules of revenge on her site. Her first advice? Make sure the punishment fits the crime.
“Don't go nuclear over something trivial,” she suggests. “Also make sure the revenge fits the perpetrator. Go for the jugular. Hit him exactly where it hurts.”
Second rule – don’t forget that old adage, revenge is a dish, best served cold. Gallagher says there is wisdom in that.
“Never strike when the rage is hot,” she insists. “Revenge is an old code of honor, which should be handled with thought and care. Acting impulsively is antithetical. Revenge plotting takes time and care.”
Over the years, Gallagher has heard many revenge stories and posts them on her site. Some of the craziest?
“The woman who took revenge on her philandering husband by having his gold Mercedes dropped from an airplane in the Arizona desert,” she remembers. “The woman who wrote 666 in indelible ink on her husband's forehead while he was sleeping. The guy who sent a gay male stripper to his girlfriend's stuffy office when she was in a Board Meeting.”
But even the Revenge Lady, herself, says there are times when you might want to think twice before acting out your revenge fantasy.
“If you are well and done with the person involved, sometimes it is better to take the high road and not even waste time and energy on committing revenge,” she says. “Sometimes ignoring the person totally, acting as if they were a mere insignificance, can be very cutting. And it means that you can move on faster and put the whole mess behind you.”
So what do you think of revenge? We hit up some friends on Facebook to see what they’d do.
Alexis says she’d “let sleeping dogs lie.” Moving on gracefully instead of taking revenge.
Erin says she’d rather take the high road—for the sake of her children. “What he has revenge lady,done to me and my children in the past...he has to live with,” she says. “It is not easy when the father of your four children turns into a cruel selfish sub-human being. But he is my children's father and for that reason alone, I do not seek the revenge I dream about.”
And Tamara pleads the fifth. “What I have done,” she says, “I’d rather not write about here on Facebook.”
Have you sought revenge against someone who did you wrong? Did it work? Did you feel better or worse afterwards?
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