Is it wearing a sexy outfit? Or maybe sex in the living room? Or breaking out a toy? What is it that you do to make him go wild in bed?
"Sex can become routine – same place, same time, same sequence, same position," says relationship expert Lori W. Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. She and her husband Bob run the Relationships Work website. "So one night (or day) surprise him with something different."
So what kind of surprises might he enjoy? Well, you can't go wrong with acting out one of his fantasies. Lori says most men would love to share them with you, but might be afraid to do so--thinking you'll judge them.
"Ask him about his fantasies and tell him about yours. If you agree to play one of them out, he will be forever grateful," she says. "As long as no one is getting hurt or degraded, there is nothing wrong with playing out these scenes."
Another idea? Forgoing the orgasm. At least for a little bit--relying on sexual tension to turn up the heat instead. "Tell him no orgasms for at least 30 minutes; only touching, undressing, kissing, caressing," she suggests. "We did this when we were dating; do you remember how exciting that was?"
Another thing men love? When you start making requests. "Many women don’t know this, but one of the greatest joys a man has is from pleasing the most important woman in his life – and that’s you," Lori says. "Think about what would feel good for you and give him the job description. He will be happy to oblige."
If it's been a while, just getting things going in the first place is a often good start. "Men often complain in my office that their wives don’t initiate sex," says Lori. "Women don’t understand that many men take this personally. After several rejections a man will stop asking. Besides if you initiate, it will be at a time when you're in the mood – all the more fun."
And while every guy is a little different - with different tastes to get their motors purring, remember there's one thing none of them can get enough of. And that's sex itself--and more importantly--sex with you.
"Men view sex as the portal to their hearts," says Lori. "When a man is intimately loving the woman he cares about, his heart is most open to her. When a couple consciously creates and nurtures a mutually satisfying sex life and an emotional bond, they can build an extraordinary relationship."
