By Holly Lefevre, Author of "The Everything Wedding Checklist Book"
You met. You dated. You fell in love. He proposed (or maybe you did!). You started planning a wedding… and suddenly found yourself wondering why. Screech! Stop! What!?
As couples plan they all too often let the wedding details take precedent over the relationship. Once upon a time, there were dinner dates, texts to say “I love you,” and hand holding. But, now, dinner means menu tastings, texts are sent to the wedding planner, and hand holding is out of the question – a bride’s hands are full of clipboards, wedding notebooks, and smart phones.
A couple’s life can be quickly overtaken by the world of weddings. The last thing you want is for one of you to feel neglected, while the other feels “he just doesn’t care!” Each and every couple needs to make their relationship a priority to avoid feelings of burn out, frustration, and exasperation. Take a moment. Take a breath. Take time to make some magic that has nothing to do with wedding planning.
6 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive
1. Schedule the “Wedding Talk”: Wedding talk can take over your relationship. Once a month, or once a week, set aside time to eat dinner together, grab a coffee, or go for a walk and make one simple rule: No talking about wedding planning. Perhaps even create a list of things you would love to try or do together over the next year and plan them out on the calendar (even less you have to think about and fewer excuses why not to do it!). Also, make rules for wedding talk at home or when you are together, such as “not during dinner” or “not after 9:00 am.”
2. Keep the Element of Surprise: Surprise your significant other with a romantic weekend or an overnight excursion – not one where you are researching venues. Considering planning something unusual or totally “not you.” Go rock climbing, backpacking, stay at a farm, or jet off to the city. Experiencing something new together can bring you together.
3. Savor the Sweetness: Send texts or emails or even real mail (!) that says “I love you,” or “I am thinking about you.” Leave the wedding details out of a few of these communications and just simply be sweet. Show your significant other how important he is to you.
4. Small Gifts, Big Results: Pick a date every month, and on that date give each other a small but meaningful gift. A homemade card, a love letter, a scrapbook…anything that means something to you and your relationship.
5. Celebrate Your Special Moments: As the wedding day draws nearer, it is harder and harder to find time together. Ride with your sweetie and only your sweetie to and from the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The wedding day is busy and this may be the last alone “unmarried” moments you spend together.
6. Connect with Each Other: Hold hands. Give hugs. Connect with your love. Be present. There is a reason you are at this moment in your life – you fell in love - don’t let it get lost.
Yes, while planning your wedding, you may have to plan to stay romantic, but it is worth it. Too many couples feel disengaged and disconnected by the time the wedding day rolls around. They are surrounded by family and friends and ready to declare their enduring love, but have missed out on the opportunity to stay connected and present with each other. A little extra effort will lead to a wedding day where you and your love feel more in love than ever.
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About the Author
Holly Lefevre loves all things weddings. After a career in fashion design, and many, many walks of the aisle as a bridesmaid, Holly made a walk down the aisle herself, and then turned to wedding planning as a career. As a wedding expert, she has served as editor for a local bridal magazine, spoke at wedding seminars, and appeared on national television. She has inspired couples to marry with style and grace and a pop of personality that is all their own. She is the author of 7 books, including The Everything Wedding Checklist Book and most recently The Everything Vegan Book. She shares her creative and wedding whims at 504main.com.