By Allison Pescosolido MA and Andra Brosh PhD, founders of Divorce Detox
With just the click of a button, we can "unfriend" people from Facebook, ejecting them from our daily lives without a second thought. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just “unfriend” your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend in real time.. the same way you can on Facebook?
As appealing as deleting your ex from your life sounds, it’s often just not possible, especially if you share children together. However there are ways you can alter your “privacy settings” in your life to minimize contact and interaction after a divorce or breakup . Here are some suggestions on how distance yourself.
1. Change any mutual passwords to your accounts. Online social networking sites keep you connected to others, but it’s also a window into your ex’s world that you don’t want or need to see anymore.
2. Keep your private life private. You are under no obligation to share your personal life with your ex. While you may be used to sharing every deep, dark secret with this person, things are different now with divorce. Keep your personal experiences to yourself and deflect any inquiries with short and concise answers.
3. Reduce the amount of texting and emailing you engage in with your ex. While this might be necessary while dealing with legal issues, or to make arrangements for the children, brief phone conversations are less intimate and there is no opportunity for misunderstanding or misinterpreted language.
4. Be careful when communicating with mutual friends. You may have some of the same friends as your ex that play both sides after the divorce or breakup. Be aware that anything you disclose has the potential to get back to your him. You can make it clear to your friends that everything is to be kept confidential, but the best security will come from not sharing any information that you would not ultimately want your ex to know.
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- Chatting or Cheating? How to Tell
- Should You Stay Friends with Your Ex?
- 6 Things Women Do to Push Men Away
- Are You an Oversharer?
Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and Andra Brosh, Ph.D. are experts in Divorce Recovery and starting over. They co-founded Divorce Detox, a full service center to transform the lives of individuals transitioning through divorce. With advanced degrees in the field of Psychology, and as certified Grief Recovery Specialists® by The Grief Recovery Institute, Andra and Allison are proactively challenging and changing the stigma of divorce on a national level.
Photo Credit: Laura Grier