Are the holiday blues bringing you down? Being single during "the most wonderful time of the year" can make even the most optimistic gal feel all alone. Sometimes singles scurry around between Thanksgiving and Christmas trying to chase the loneliness away and secure a date for New Year's. But the dating scene tends to go dormant during the holidays, so even after all that effort, an unattached woman might still wind up standing alone under the mistletoe, even more depressed than before.
Want a better way to spend the count down to 2012? Get yourself organized to take advantage of the flurry of singles activities that happen after New Year’s Eve. Due to all those New Year’s Resolutions, online dating and other singles activities see a sudden rise in numbers in early January-- a direct result of those earnest declarations to finally find love in the next year.
So rather than curse the lonely holidays, a savvy single can use this time wisely to get prepared to take advantage of the energized dating scene come January 1st. Use these simple solutions to refocus on stepping into your best self, so you’ll be radiating and ready to attract real love in the coming year.
Related: Holidays and the Single Girl
Get Set for New Love in 2012
Review your “Gems”
The first step in resetting the "funk" to festive is to review your year in love. Take out a journal and think back through all of your dating experiences last year, with an eye toward identifying the lessons you learned. There are gems available in all of your experiences, even the painful ones. Each experience was offering you up a fantastic insight about yourself, others, and love itself that helped you become a better person.
So see what gifts were given to you in the love department, and do your best to step into gratitude for the ways you have grown as a result, even if it didn’t turn out the way you hoped. By purposely appreciating even what seemed like a bummer last year, you can immediately begin melting the reserve of disappointment, frustration, and hopelessness that may have built up.
Reset your Vision
By stepping into gratitude, you’ve warmed your heart enough to begin focusing on your vision of love for next year. Armed with what you learned about love... what you really need and truly desire-- write down a new vision for love in the coming year.
Empower yourself by starting a new chapter in your own love story and write it as if you are the author of your own romance. In descriptive language, create a scene of you enjoying your new beau with all of the relationship qualities that will make you feel cherished. Bring it alive with lots of details until you can really feel the love flowing.
Then step into this scene in your imagination as often as you can to keep reminding your subconscious of what you are expecting to attract in the coming year.
Revamp Your Plan
Now that you’ve tuned up your thoughts and emotions to be a love magnet, there’s one last step to take... action! The old adage is true: If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get the same results. Now is the time to plan some novel dating adventures that will put you in some fresh places to meet great new singles.
Do some research into singles events in your area coming up in January and plan now to attend, so you have something to look forward to. Try something you haven’t already, such as speed dating, online dating, singles trips, or group dinner dating. Or join some new groups-- Meetup.com is a fabulous way to connect with new people doing fun things.
Get at least three new things on your calendar to take advantage of the January dating buzz and before you know it, you’ll have created a whole new love life you can actually enjoy.
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Jennifer Oikle Ph.D., is a relationship psychologist and dating coach. Her passion is coaching singles in Authentic Attraction so they can step into their best self and attract the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. She’s also an expert in helping singles dissolve the deepest obstacles that keep them from creating fulfilling relationships. Find out how to become a Mate Magnet by taking her quizzes at mysoulmatesolution.com and meetyourmateonline.com.