In today's economy, it’d be an impressive feat for a family to single-handedly cover the costs of a standard wedding, much less the fairytale that every little girl dreams of. Traditionally, the bride’s family was responsible for handling the wedding preparations while the groom’s family planned the honeymoon. Nowadays, however, it seems like tradition has been shooed out the door while practicality has been ushered in.
According to our two experts, Andria Lewis—a 15-year wedding planner veteran—and Jodi R.R. Smith—an author and etiquette expert—today’s couples are independent, educated, and financially savvy enough to successfully manage their wedding expenses. And if, they are feeling a tad bit under pressure, well then, they can follow the advice below in order to ensure that the budget is covered without ruining the bride’s manicure!
Andria’s (Flexible) Rules:
"It’s okay to color outside the lines when you are planning your wedding!”
- Have an open discussion with all individuals who will be contributing to the wedding.
- Make lists, so everyone can see the plan (examples below)
- Once everyone has agreed, start visiting potential venues & vendors (Only After!)
- Know where the funds are coming from & how much is being contributed for that category, before you meet with any potential vendor
- Plan well & enjoy one of the happiest moments of your life
If the Couple Wants To Help The Bride’s Parents Pay The Tab:
Parents’ Expenses:
- Caterer
- Venue
- Stationery (from Save-The-Dates to Invites to Thank You Cards)
- Photographer & Videographer
- Rentals & Lighting
- Bride’s Gown
Couple’s Expenses:
- All Flowers (personal flowers for wedding party & centerpieces)
- Transportation
- Cakes
- Entertainment (ceremony musicians, band/DJ)
- Officiant’s Fee
- Wedding Planner
- Guest Welcome Bags & Favors
- Gifts for Wedding Party
If the Couple is Splitting the Tab Between Themselves:
Bride’s Expenses:
- Her Gown
- All Flowers
- Cakes
- Wedding Planner
- Gifts for Bridesmaids & Hostesses
- Venue
Groom’s Expenses:
- Entertainment
- Transportation
- Officiant’s Fee
- Gifts for Groomsmen and Ushers
- His Attire (PURCHASE THE SUIT…he will get more for his money)
Couple’s Expenses:
- Caterer
- Photographer & Videographer
- Stationery
- Rentals & Lighting
- Guest Welcome Bags & Favors
Jodi’s Potential Scenarios:
Unlike the “olden days,” the bride’s family won’t necessarily cover all of the expenses of the wedding. Instead, the finances may have to come from multiple sources, including the couple’s own pockets. The following rules should be adhered in the scenarios that follow them:
- Couple must determine a realistic budget & discuss what each one is willing to contribute to the wedding.
- Next, they must tactfully approach the bride’s parents. If they haven’t proffered to host the wedding, the couple should tactfully and diplomatically ask if the bride’s parents are ready, willing, and able to contribute.
- The last conversation should be reserved for the groom’s parents. This must be approached carefully and thoughtfully.
Scenario # 1:
Bride’s parents offer to host the entire event (Phew!). Your duties are now relieved and you can sit back and enjoy the wedding.
Scenario # 2:
Bride’s parents flat out can’t or won’t help out. They may either be financially strained at the moment or the bride’s relationship with them could be on the rocks. In either case, the couple needs to come up with plan B.
Scenario # 3:
Groom’s family covers 1/3 to ½ of wedding costs, leaving the couple to take care of only a portion of the expenses.
