Stupid About Men: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right
Here’s to all you Glorious Gals!
That's a perfect word to describe any network of women, because women are glorious, and they are resilient, tough, and, for the most part, intelligent too. Like you. And nothing is more glorious than a smart woman who's in love, raising her family, happy, healthy, and satisfied with where she's going in life.
Unless, of course, she's stupid about men. Unfortunately, a good many of us otherwise glorious girls are just that. We are stupid when it comes to love and romance.
Honestly, it's not really our fault, and it has nothing to do with our innate intelligence, or our education. The female brain is hardwired for romance, even though that same brain is perfectly capable of designing rocket ships or curing cancer.
We are designed neurologically for "falling in love" because that is what Mother Nature needs for us to do. She is an old fuddy duddy, and still believes the entire future of the human race depends on getting us to mate and procreate.
Of course, it is now very easy to fool Mother Nature, in spite of what the old margarine commercials used to teach us. This brave new world has changed forever since those days. Not only is the human race in no danger of dying out any more, women don't even have to have sex to have a baby. And the day is rapidly approaching, unfortunately, when we may not even need a man at all.
But try telling the old fool that!
With all this scientific progress, you'd think that we could find a way to get around our dear Mother when it comes to romance too; at least when it comes to tumbling headfirst down that slippery slope with the wrong man, as unfortunately, so many do.
Because nothing can derail a woman's career, or ruin all her fabulousness than a romance gone wrong, no matter her age, race, educational, or financial status.
We all know a SAM, a woman who is chronically Stupid About Men. She keeps throwing away pieces of her heart with each loser she encounters. They take her time, borrow her money (without ever paying it back, of course) and rob her of her self-worth. She might have a PHD in science, but she acts like she's in high school when it comes to men. But why?
Oh my sweetness; let me count the ways:
1. She is lonely and afraid she will always be alone.
2. She's never experienced a healthy relationship; so doesn't know how to create one.
3. Her father mistreated her mother or she was abused; abuse and conflict feel natural, even if painful
4. She confuses mothering a man with loving him as his mate.
5. She believes she can take what she wants, including another woman's husband, if she is in love.
6. She is using romance like a drug, to avoid facing the hard things in life that need attention
7. She wants to be rescued from having to take care of herself and her children by herself
8. She is bored and using risky romance to "spice" up her life, often with devastating consequences
9. She is in an unhealthy marriage or relationship she feels she cannot end, so has affairs as a
diversion or escape.
10. She confuses sexual power with personal/spiritual power
Of course, we've all struggled with all of the above at some time or the other. The difference is that while most women learn and become even more fabulous as a result of their experiences, SAM girls don't. They just keep checking into Heartbreak Hotel over and over again.
So, what is the cure? How can we make sure we are not at risk for being stupid ourselves?
Here's a few tips:
*Take a long break between relationships. It takes a good two years to resolve emotional issues after a break-up and regain the unclouded judgment you'll need to regroup and learn from your mistake.
*Pay attention to the warning signs during any initial dating period. They are there, but keep in mind that the romantic process is very strong and will try to talk you out of their importance.
Don't listen to Mother Nature (because she can be a really spiteful witch)
*Avoid career and work entanglements. Leave romance out of the office!
*Never allow a man to disrespect you in any way.
*Don't fall into the trap of believing that love will turn a frog into a prince.
*Give boring guys a chance before you dump them too fast. Still waters can run deep sometimes.
*Don't confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy. One of the biggest mistakes women
make is using sex to hang onto a man believing she has his heart as long as he is in her bed.
*Never use a man to get over a broken heart. Heal your heart first.
*Find your soul before you look for your soul mate.
Here's to a whole network of glorious gals; I hope you all are smart about men!