It's time to get down to business and talk with our husbands (or wives) about some serious issues--you know those touchy subjects like money, our health, and sex.
Before you wade into those deep waters, here are a few tips you might consider.
1. Never interrupt, cut the other person off, or talk over them.
2. When the other person talks, repeat what they say (in short form) so they know you have heard them. Trust me; as weird as this sounds; it works!
3. Avoid eye-rolling, and other negative body language.
4. Process what you are being told instead of immediately reacting on the defensive. You may have misunderstood.
5. Assume the best; not the worst.
6. Whenever your spouse is right about something; acknowledge it before proceeding (“you are right about that…but can I add something?”)
7. Don’t initiate discussions after sex, in bed, during meals, or when you are angry at each other. Calm down and make a mutual appointment to talk.
8. Start your sentences with “I” instead of “you” to avoid the
“pointing finger syndrome.” (for example: “I get really upset when I feel that I’m being ignored” instead of “you really make me mad when you don’t listen to me…”)
9. Encourage, praise, and complement each other as often as possible.
10. Watch the bad habit of sounding annoyed and irritated all the time. It creeps in when you least expect it.
11. Ask your spouse when they have time to talk, don’t just launch into a heavy discussion of sensitive issues.
12. A good counselor can teach you to talk about each in a way that doesn’t embarrass, wound, or create a defensive reaction. Fear and pride are the two culprits hiding behind most of our communication difficulties.