Go ahead and pull that vibrator out from under the bed and leave it on the nightstand. Today, sex toys have gone mainstream - and you can play without feeling any shame.
"The days of wearing a trench coat and sunglasses to purchase your vibrator are long gone," says sex expert, Jaiya, author of "Red Hot Touch" and founder of New World Sex Education. "Sex toys are going mainstream and thus, coming out of their dark hiding places in closets and drawers across the nation. It's no longer necessary for you to hide your rabbit habit, now it's 'in', thanks to shows like Sex in the City. Cool girls own sex toys."
And they know how to use them! Whether they're flying solo or with their partner.
"The stigma once attached to sex toys that you are either desperate, lonely or that your guy isn't pleasing you is slowly going away," Jaiya insists. "As self-pleasure becomes more acceptable and even the 'in' thing to do, shame is taking a back seat to pleasure."
Of course, Jaiya admits, some men are still holding out.
"When I announced that I was self pleasuring for 101 days straight I had all kinds of letters from women about how inspiring I was, how it was changing the way they looked at pleasure and how they were joining me in my experiment," she says. " However, my letter from guys were mostly about how they could help me out by offering me sexual favors. Some of them even insulted my current sexual partners with things like 'Your guy must not be doing his job, I can help you!' YUCK!"
To those guys, she says - get with the program! "Women today play with toys because they are awesome and for the most part they enhance our experience of pleasure with you."
But let's face it. Even without the stigma, shopping for sex toys can be a little scary. And some women need a little help from their friends. Not surprisingly, sex toy parties are taking over Tupperware parties in middle America, with one company, Passion Parties, reportedly hosting 10,000 parties each month in private homes.
So what are these women buying?
"If you are a beginner I recommend starting with three different types of toys," Jaiya says. "Get yourself a non-intimidating vibrator, a dildo, and a kegel sexerciser."
Once you've got the toys, now it's time to entice your partner into playing. Remember, you don't want them to think they've been doing something wrong.
"It's best to use something non-intimidating and more on the "massage" spectrum," Jayia says. "You are giving a massage, not playing with a vibrator! Go with a massage wand like the Hitachi Magic Wand. Play with it on other areas of your bodies before going to your nether regions and don't be afraid to use it on him- especially his neck and shoulders."
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