Let’s face it: unless you’re eighteen years old or in a brand new relationship where the sex is really steamy, you’re not always in the mood for sex. What you may not realize is that the less you have sex, the less you want it. Luckily, it works the other way as well: the more you have sex, the more you want it.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of “fake it ‘til you make it.” I often recommend that couples go on a sex rampage, having sex for seven days in a row, to rekindle the romance in their relationship. Here are some tips to help you get “in the mood.”
5 Tips for Getting In the Mood
1. Get your hips moving. Use a hula-hoop, or go to a dance class. One of the reasons you’re not in the mood is because you’re not really in your body. So much of the day is spent on mental activity, you’re disconnected from your physical self This kind of movement helps you climb back into your body.
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2. Learn how to give a lap dance. You can find examples on YouTube, or find a pole fitness studio that offers classes. Learning how to give a lap dance is about much more than giving a lap dance. It’s about giving you confidence, and confidence is sexy. I’ve witnessed many women transform from giggling, embarrassed schoolgirls into sexy, confident vixens by the end of a lap dance class.
3. Give yourself a warm oil massage. Called abhyanga in the Ayurvedic tradition, it’s a great way to moisturize your skin and stimulate your body. Simply heat about 3/4 cup of sesame, sunflower, or coconut oil in the microwave. Beginning at your feet, drizzle the oil onto your skin and rub it in, massaging as you go. Let it sink in for 5-10 minutes (be sure the bathroom is warm so you don’t get a chill) before rinsing it off in the shower. Don’t use soap, just water to get rid of the excess oil.
4. Set the mood in the room. Use soft lights or candles, put some music on that reminds you of a time when you felt super sexy. Wear something soft or silky; the sensation will heighten your pleasure. Have a glass of wine to help you unwind-- if you feel the need. But don’t overdo the alcohol; alcohol is a depressant, so too much will dampen your sense of touch and sense.
5. Set your mental mood. One of the things that inhibit you from feeling sexy is your mental chatter. Your to-do list, your internal criticism of what your body looks like, and thoughts about what you did or didn’t accomplish at work will all conspire to keep you in your head and not feeling sexy. Make a list of all the things that are running around in your head. Putting them down on paper will help you relax, knowing there’s no chance you’ll forget something important.
More from GalTime:
- 6 Ways to Reclaim Your Sexual Satisfaction
- Why You Should Have Sex Even if You're Not in the Mood
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- 4 Hottest Bedroom Trends
Johanna Lyman is a published author, an internationally known speaker and teacher, and a Spiritual Love Coach. She is a certified life coach (CCUG) trained by CoachUniversity. Johanna combines personal experience and esoteric studies in a humorous, practical and accessible style that empowers her clients to live the fullest expression of their lives.