Jealousy is resentment of another person’s success, situation, or behaviors. You may connect jealousy with romantic relationships, and it’s true that many romantic relationships are fraught with jealousy. But did you realize that the green eyed monster of jealousy can rear its ugly head in other situations as well? Did you know that it can cause just as much damage in a work situation as it can in a romance? Did you know that there are actually three faces of jealousy? These faces represent the three ways jealousy can wreck all kinds of relationships. Do you recognize any of them?
The first face of jealousy has to do with the resentment aspect of its definition. Resentment is one of aspects of anger and anger, at its core, is an expression of fear. Energetically, you are always choosing between fear and love. When you choose a higher vibration like happiness, peace, and gratitude, you move closer to the energy of love. The more you align with the energy of love, the better your life gets. Conversely, the more you align with the energy of fear, the more you attract fear-based experiences which show up as experiences you do not want.
In romantic relationships, jealousy shows up because you are afraid that what you have will be taken away from you. That’s a false premise: nobody can own another person, which means they can’t be taken away from you without their permission. When you give attention to feelings of jealousy, you attract more experiences that seem to prove to you that your partner isn’t trustworthy. More often than not, continued feelings of jealousy will eventually create what you think you don’t want: the end of the relationship. It ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy of the worst kind when you give your attention to the fear based energy of jealousy.
The second face of jealousy is imbedded in scarcity thinking, the idea that there’s not enough to go around. This is the kind of jealousy that typically shows up in work situations and non-romantic relationships. If you feel this kind of jealousy, whether you’re jealous of a co-worker or a friend’s success, you are making an assumption that if they have success, then there won’t be enough for you to have what you want. The truth is that there is plenty to go around. Rather than be jealous in a situation like this, try being genuinely happy for your co-worker or friend. Consider it proof that good things are available, not just for them, but for you too. In fact, try stepping outside your jealousy and cheering for EVERYONE to succeed. When the universe registers your genuine happiness (remember, that’s an expression of love) it will send a vibrational match to you.
The third face of jealousy is when it disrespects who you are. When you’re jealous of another person, you assume they’re better than you. When you’re jealous of your lover’s behavior, you assume they’re not satisfied with you. Regardless of the situation, you assume you are not enough just as you are. The truth is that you ARE enough. You are a unique expression of the Divine, having your own unique experience. When you honor that and get curious about about how you can share your unique gifts, you begin aligning with the energy of love instead of the energy of fear. The two energies can not exist in the same space, and whichever you give the most attention to will win. Which do you choose? Ask yourself if you really want to be chased by this three faced monster, or would you rather expose it's lies.
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Johanna Lyman is a published author, an internationally known speaker and teacher, and a Spiritual Love Coach. She is a certified life coach (CCUG) trained by CoachUniversity. Johanna combines personal experience and esoteric studies in a humorous, practical and accessible style that empowers her clients to live the fullest expression of their lives.