Add sizzle to your sex life
Kissing well is a learned skill. There’s no “one size fits all” strategy, because people respond differently and like different styles. There are some common denominators, however, that will ensure you pucker up like a pro.
5 Ways to Be a Better Kisser
1. Start with a clean mouth. According to Maria Merloni, Sex and Relationship Therapist, even a little bit of bad breath is a big turn off. Be sure to floss your teeth; decaying food stuck in your teeth is a major cause of bad breath. Another big cause is bacteria on the tongue, so use a tongue scraper too. Then brush those pearly whites, and add a gargle of mouthwash.
2. Make sure your lips are kissable. Use a lip moisturizer regularly. If your lips are still chapped, try brushing them with a lip moisturizer laden toothbrush. Back in the day, we used good old Vaseline, but now there are better options. Gently exfoliate with the toothbrush for super soft lips. When you know you’re going to be kissing, lay off the thick lip gloss and bright lipstick.
3. Remember that variety is the spice of life. Be playful and spontaneous. Alternate a deep French kiss with a nibble or a suck on his lower lip. And remember that you don’t have to confine your kissing to mouths! One of the reasons couples stop kissing as the relationship lengthens is because the same old thing gets boring after awhile. Explore different erogenous zones with your mouth. Some of my favorites include the back of the neck, earlobes, and having kisses trail from the base of the neck up to the mouth.
Related: Sex: What He Really Wants (and is Afraid to Ask For)
4. It takes two: Goddess Judicci, a sexuality healer, offer this suggestion: “Kissing is a lot like dancing – it takes two to tango, and it takes the proper amount of “resistance” or “pressure” for partners to lead and follow. Don’t be shy about taking the lead-- allowing your partner to sense how hungry you are for their lips is exciting. And don’t forget to pause and back off. Sometimes the sexiest part of a dance is when the partners pull away from each other, eying each other with appreciation and longing … the tension of separation is hot!”
5. Be in the moment: The sexiest thing you can bring to a make out session is your full presence and undivided attention. Eye contact is like foreplay for kissing. When you look at your partner with desire, he will instantly respond. Conversely, if your mind is wandering, even if it wanders to what may be coming next, he will sense your lack of presence to the moment. Pay attention: someone will kiss you the way they want to be kissed back. Hopefully your styles will match, but if they don’t then you can subtly guide him to your way when it’s your turn to kiss him back.
It’s easy to have a hot make out session with a new partner. The challenge comes when you’ve been together for a long time. Whether it’s familiarity, boredom, or routine, we forget how amazing it feels to have a good old-fashioned make out session. It’s one of many great ways to add spice into your relationship. If you want more ideas, check out my blog, Romance Recovery.
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Johanna Lyman is a published author, an internationally known speaker and teacher, and a Spiritual Love Coach. She is a certified life coach (CCUG) trained by CoachUniversity. Johanna combines personal experience and esoteric studies in a humorous, practical and accessible style that empowers her clients to live the fullest expression of their lives.
Her business is Romance Recovery: Whether You Stay or Go: Do It With Courage, Clarity and Ease www.romancerecovery.com. She can be reached at Johanna@romancerecovery.com.
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