I’ve heard this one a thousand times. “Guys just can’t commit.” We don’t have problems committing.
Ok some guys have problems committing.
But here’s a newsflash…it’s not that we have problems committing, it’s that we have problems committing to you. We’re keeping it real here, right? Fact is, whenever someone says, “It’s not about you” or “It’s not personal” it’s damn personal and it’s all about you.
The “it’s not you” line is what we say to avoid trying to explain why it’s entirely about you. We’re relatively wimpy when it comes to emotional confrontation. But what we really want to say is:
Hey, we’ve been going out for a while, I know. And now you want a greater commitment towards a potential long-term future. But the fact is, I really don’t see you that way. Don’t get me wrong, I love hangin’ out, having great sex, laughing, weekend getaways, and all that good stuff. But no, you’re not “the one.” So if you want to keep things the way they are until my Mrs. Right comes along, cool. Otherwise, I’ve gotta get off this ride. Thanks, though, it’s been fun. By the way, is it cool to call you up every now and then for random sex?”
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re one hundred percent right: “Guys can be such insensitive pigs sometimes.”
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How do you dispute such a rock solid declarative? We exhibit piggish tendencies a lot, particularly when we’re younger. And here’s another piece of introspection; we’re just as shallow as women. Sure we complain about women chasing the guys with the fattest wallet, the fanciest cars, and the nicest homes instead of the nice guy pulling a nine-to-five, making forty grand a year, driving a two-door Yugo – but at the other end of the spectrum, we’re hunting for the hottest piece of a** we can find.
How’s that for honesty?
The good thing, though, is that we usually grow out of that nonsense. So the point is this; we aren’t afraid of commitment, we’ve just got a lot of maturing to do. We want to sow those wild oats as long as we can, but we eventually grow up and settle down, believe it or not. Certainly a great percentage of women will choose to not believe it. And that’s fine. But by the time a guy is in his thirties (mid thirties) he’s usually ready for something meaningful—but that still doesn’t mean it’s you he wants as his happily ever after.
Related: 7 Burning Questions Guys Want To Ask
One gigantic caveat to this piece of advice…if your guy is a celebrity or someone rich and powerful, settling down may be a loooong way down the road. The rich and powerful have a much longer “single shelf life” so beware and proceed with caution! You could end up discovering that your man’s got a thing for skeezy tattoo models and porn stars while you’re scanning the latest “People” magazine one day!
Check out more from Marcus at StraightMaleFriend.com