Do Nice Guys Finish Last? DUH!
A while back, I asked these questions on behalf of men everywhere, which led to very heated responses from people all across the nation. By the way, my inbox thanks you for the work out. One of the questions breathed life into a fairly common debate: Do nice guys finish last?
Well, nice guys may not always finish last, but they’re fairly accustomed to watching other guys cross the finish line before them. The essence of my question was this:
“Why do you always say you want a nice guy with a sense of humor, but only go out with the a-hole…..?”
Let me share a few responses:
“Most girls, including me, fall for the jerks for one simple reason, we have been hurt so many times... that when a guy that is sweet, has a sense of humor, and loves us for who we are, comes along... we run. We are afraid and in turn we end up with the jerk. If someone could knock some sense into us... that would be wonderful.” – Punchick1022
“Nice guy is not equivalent to "door mat." You should be funny, considerate of others, and be able to stand by your convictions. That's my version of a "nice guy." A guy who just dotes on you and caters to your every whim and never disagrees with you is a door mat, and completely boring. So no, we don't want a real (jerk), we want someone who will stand up for what they believe in. Passion is sexy. Even if you lost the argument/debate in the end, you still made a go of it. That's what's important. And personally, I'm opinionated, confident, and assertive. I need a guy who won't back down to my strong personality, but will stand up to do the dance with me. I like a little bit of fire and conflict. I need it to balance a relationship properly” – Erin
“Bad boys have the confidence that funny guys lack. Confidence in men is very, very hot!” – Alicia
“Guys with bad temper and/or are (jerks) are passionate and usually have a great sense of humor. Guys with only a good sense of humor are usually too nice and do not present a challenge.” - eMCBEE
“I suspect, one of the reasons why girls go for ill-tempered a&%holes with no sense of humor is cuz they fall for the pretty face and the hot bods first( and then they) realize the dude's a (jerk.) Or the bigger truth is that women think they are that special one to tame the wild horse...but sadly, that usually doesn’t happen and it takes a few relationships for us women to realize wild horses can't be tamed.” – Doreen K
There were hundreds of similar reactions. Women admitted to regularly eschewing the “nice guy” for the bad boy. The bad boy who, by the way, eventually screws up so often with so many women that his template is the one an alarming number of women use as the basic framework of most men. The bulk of the respondents also say that they eventually grow out of their bad boy phase.
I can hear it now, “Marcus you’re generalizing!”
Yes I am.
Listen, these generalizations begin somewhere, don’t they? There are true generalizations and there are false generalizations. This one happens to be mostly true. Easy. The real question is : Why is being “nice” synonymous to being “soft” or a “door mat?” How did that one start? What’s even more ridiculous is that so many guys are conditioned to believe the mythology – so they perpetrate the myth themselves by acting in that bad boy way because so many women are attracted to the cocky, loudmouth rather than the humble, confident dude.
And I can tell you this; guys are always going to do the things that they believe are attractive to women. Comedian Dave Chappelle put it best. “Men like nice cars because women like men…who drive nice cars.” BINGO! If today we found out that women are hot for guys with one eye, the eye removal Industry would shoot through the roof! This puts women in a powerful position.
So do nice guys finish last? My answer is….usually. I mean sure, there are the guys who break through the stereotype eventually. Usually it’s later in life after the bad boys have already abused millions of hearts and emotions, so that Mr. Nice Guy is finally viewed as the top preference. Hey, it’s not where you start, it’s where you finish, right? One could say, “See, nice guys do eventually win!” But I could counter by saying that Mr. Nice Guy is still the runner up. He wins by the eventual total disqualification of The Bad Boy, not because he’s seen as the best choice right off the bat.
If only ladies had the wisdom of maturity a little earlier!
Seeing more nice guys finish first creates more nice guys.
When did you give up on “bad boys?”
Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area, veteran media professional and author of "Your Straight Male Friend..Every Woman Should Have One", Marcus Osborne has honed his talent and keen ability to convey to women, the inner workings of the male mind via regular forays into the "friendzone."Check out more from Marcus at StraightMaleFriend.com Twitter: @SMFMarcus