If it seems as if the entire dating population is on one singles website or another… well… you would be wrong. But there are plenty of folks using them with good success apparently.
According to recent statistics, there are more than 1,500 dating websites in the United States alone. More numbers? Some twenty-five percent of singles are on dating sites and get this-- at the end of the year of 2010, seventeen percent of couples who married that year met through online dating.
Want to get married sooner rather than later? Try online dating. The average courtship for couples who met online is eight-teen and a half months. Compare that to those pairs who met offline where the average balloons to 42 months! So I guess that’s the positive side of digital dating.
On the other hand….
After doing my own extensive research, signing up to a boatload of these websites and talking to friends about their experiences, I discovered how much work goes into this process. In particular the screening of the legit prospects from the weirdos, wackos, and wastes of time seems most daunting. Those dating profiles?
Gimme a break!
Not only are many of them just plain awful, but I'm certain that half of them won't pass the truth test. You know, just once instead of reading, "I'm in good shape, outdoorsy and I don't own a television", I'd LOVE to see, "I'm indoorsy, a couch potato and borderline diabetic." Nope, you've got to do some serious reading between the lines to decipher what people are really saying. And I'm going to help prepare you for your venture into the digital dating world by offering you a translation of 10 of the most commonly used cliches in dating profiles.
10 Online Dating Profile Cliches
1. "I'm family-oriented" TRANSLATION "I have no friends."
2. "I don't own a television." TRANSLATION "I'm a snob. I will judge you for owning one yourself. What's a Kardashian anyway?"
3. "I'm finally making time for ME." TRANSLATION "My husband/wife left me and the kids have moved out. I'm so alone."
4. "I appreciate the finer things." TRANSLATION "You'd better have a fat bank account if you wanna get anywhere near my bedroom."
5. "I have 2 adorable cats." TRANSLATION "I have 20 adorable cats and a Hoarders film crew in my kitchen right now."
6. "I've been told that I look like (insert sexy actor/actress here) TRANSLATION "I look like Carrot Top. Or Carrot Top's less hot sibling."
7. "I know my way around a kitchen!" TRANSLATION "I can't read."
8. "I'm open to any race or ethnicity. I don't have a type." TRANSLATION "I'm open to any race or ethnicity...unless you're black, Asian, Indian, Latin, Greek, Armenian, Persian, Martian...."
9. "People tell me I'm the life of the party." TRANSLATION "People tell me I need an intervention."
10. "I'm straightforward and a bit of a perfectionist." TRANSLATION "I'm verbally abusive to waiters."
Those are MY Top 10. My guess is that you’ve got a few translations of your own! Send ‘em to me and I’ll post the best ones!
Aaaand GO!
Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area, veteran media professional and author of "Your Straight Male Friend..Every Woman Should Have One", Marcus Osborne has honed his talent and keen ability to convey to women, the inner workings of the male mind via regular forays into the "friendzone."Check out more from Marcus at StraightMaleFriend.com Twitter: @SMFMarcus
