Question: I'm getting married for the second time soon. I'm in my 40s, second marriage for both. Why does everyone use terms like "re-married", "your second husband"... I will only have one husband...and I don't think of this as something less than the ceremony I had 'the first time around." In fact, I know a lot more and think it's the best thing I've done. Are second marriages something of less importance? Are there things we should consider differently than we did the first time?
Dear Blushing Bride,
For starters- Congratulations! Marriage is a wonderful and multi-faceted commitment that has personal, social, religious, spiritual, and political implications. And because marriage carries such weight, it's a commitment that should be entered into thoughtfully.
Too often people marry because they feel it's the next step in the progression of their lives. They marry because their friends are getting married and they don't want to be left behind. They marry because of pressure from their parents or because they've finished their education, settled into a job and think marriage is the next indicated action.
In my opinion, these are the wrong reasons to get married. People, regardless of their age, should get married when they care less what other people think and are focused on how marriage will enhance their lives as a couple and as two mature adults.
So don't be distracted by the noise around you. It only serves to detract from the music in your heart.
Love on--- Dr P