By Jennifer Pate and Barbara Machen,
Author(s) of The Mothers of Reinvention: Reclaim Your Identity, Unleash Your Potential, Love Your Life
We've all heard of a New Year's resolution. You know, lose 10 pounds, quit smoking, etc. While that is all well and good, most of these "resolutions" don't make it until February! What are we really looking for? To feel good about ourselves? To be happy?
What about a reinvention? Actually taking a holistic approach to your life. What is working? What isn't? What are you actually looking for? Don't be overwhelmed by this. It isn't rocket science, just a different approach to finding what are really looking for in your life.
It doesn't mean that your desire to lose those 10 pounds isn't valid, but maybe it's about finding time for yourself to take better care of yourself. Maybe it's about finding something your passionate about to replace emotional eating. While going on a diet and losing 10 pounds would be great, statistics show that the majority of people are just going to gain it back once they fall back into their bad habits. What if you really assessed your life to see what is working and what isn't? Are you so busy volunteering for your kids school that you aren't finding the time to exercise? Are you stuck in a job that you are unhappy with and you find yourself snacking on unhealthy treats to get you through the day?
Related: 7 Rules for Being a Happy Working Mom
You may find by taking the time to really reinvent yourself, that you not only reach the goal of losing 10 pounds, but you may make a shift in your life that makes you happier, healthier and a better role model for your children and perhaps a better spouse!
With the tools to reinventing, you will be able to discover what truly fulfills you and live on your own terms now and in the future.
I, (Jen), decided to be a stay-at-home mom once I had kids. This was not a plan, but something that just felt right to my husband and me once we had kids. My children are 14 months apart, so I dove right in to being a housewife and didn't look back. Several years in, I started to feel very isolated. I felt that I didn't have anything for myself outside of my role as a mom and wife. I didn't like the feeling of not having anything of interest (at least in my mind) to contribute with other adults. I didn't like the feeling of having to answer to someone about money. At the time, I blamed my husband for not appreciating me. It was "his" fault that I didn't feel valued. It was "his" fault that I didn't have anything to say.
During that time, I was increasingly unorganized; bills not getting paid on time, procrastinating on things to do around the house, etc. I thought that a wonderful New Year's resolution would be to "get more organized." I started with a bang; clearing my cluttered desk, putting together a system for paying bills, etc. This lasted exactly one week. What I found was that it really didn't have anything to do with my organizational skills, but I was depressed. I wasn't feeling worthwhile. No matter what I did to "get organized" wasn't going to change the fact that I needed something for me, to reclaim my identity!
This was the birth of my reinvention! It was imperative that I reinvent for me, my kid and myself! No more resolutions! Time for a reinvention: Here is how I did it:
Related: 5 Simple Resolutions to Improve Mom's Life
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I realized that I was not feeling fulfilled as a stay at home mom.
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I thought about what I was passionate about. For me it was talking to other moms about what they were going through.
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I made the time: I sat down with my schedule, found where I could make some time. Back then it was only an hour a day, but that was what I had!
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Strategize: I talked to Barb about what our perfect life would be like and how we could attain it.
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Got my husband on board: I told him I really needed something for myself and that I wanted to make money again.
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Got my kids on board: I explained to my kids that Mommy couldn't be there for EVERY school event, etc.
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I stated my claim: Barb and I decided that we were going to start a web show for moms. Instead of saying I wanted to do it, I said "I am doing this"
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I reached out to people. Barb and I called everyone we knew who knew anything about producing, the web, etc. No matter how well we knew them or not, that didn't stop us.
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We kept trying. When first we were turned down to work with a company to help us distribute our show, we started shooting footage on our own. Luckily, they came around in the 11th hour.
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I was on my way! I truly reinvented myself and so did Barb. I went from stay-at-home Mom (which I am so glad I did for the first 5 years) to a Mom with a purpose and passion.
The amazing thing is that disorganization I spoke about earlier disappeared. It turned out I needed fulfillment through a reinvention, not just a resolution!
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