How to Stop Grandma from Spoiling Your Kids | Parenting

Several years ago my girlfriend noticed that her mother-in-law was overindulging her kids in material gifts. Though Jane appreciated her mother-in-law’s generosity, she was also concerned that her kids’ “appreciation factor” was dipping a bit. Too many presents and too much emphasis on materialism also countered her parenting goal of raising her children to be appreciative, caring and unselfish. What to do?

Jane finally asked her mother-in-law to please reduce the number of presents. Would she mind giving them instead the kind of gifts that would boost their relationship with their grandmother — like going on a trip or outing together? Or would she put the money into their college fund? And because Jane explained her values and the kids’ behaviors that concerned her, the mother-in-law not only agreed but also appreciated the chat.

The key was that Jane took time to determine how she wanted her kids to turn out (In her case: “I want my children to be appreciative and caring”). Jane then consciously raised her kids with those objectives. She made sure nothing stood in the way of her key objective. Her choices and daily parenting over the years supported those values.

I’ve watched her raise her two children over the years to become respectful, appreciative responsible, and unselfish young adults. Jane succeeded (yay Jane!!!) and so can we!