Swearing: Did my child just say that?
Young children have an uncanny knack for picking up on “bad words”. Whether they heard it from you or on TV, they zoom in on such language like a laser. Before you know it, swearing can become a ‘hot button’ issue at home.
What’s a parent to do?
*First, try NOT reacting. I sat next to a little boy who said 'damn'. Mom didn’t react. He said, louder, “Mom, I said ‘Damn’." Mom stayed neutral. He sighed and moved on.
If ignoring doesn’t seem to work...
*Try to give your child a substitute word. Say “That word isn’t nice even for grown ups to say”. Give them a more acceptable replacement or make a game out of it by making up a special word they can use when they’re angry, like ‘dingbat’ instead of dammit.
*If your child is older and is knowingly defying you, try creating a “Swear jar”. Every time he uses foul language, it costs him some cash or some time on the computer. Even better, make it a family project to clean up your language; everyone can have their own jar!
What shouldn’t you do?
*Don’t stress about the source. Focus on the behavior. Instead of saying “Hey, where did you hear that?”, react calmly but firmly with, “We don’t use that word” and move on.
*Don’t laugh. I know a parent whose child says truck in such a way that it sounds like the f word. She thinks it’s a riot now and even encourages him, but it won’t be funny in the future!
When my kids were in preschool, they asked me what the ‘s’ word was. I told them it stood for ‘stupid’. It was only much later that they learned what most people meant by the other ‘s’ word. It bought me a couple of years!
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