By eHarmony UK
It’s one of the hardest things in the world to try to fit a new partner into your family. Children are programmed to be difficult in these circumstances, torn as they are between loyalty to their own father and wanting attention from you.
Teenage kids can be the most difficult to convince as they’ll be going through so much stuff anyway without you adding to the turmoil. Here are a few tips for harmonious dating as a single mom.
Dating Advice for Single Moms with Teens
1. Move slowly
Make sure that everything goes very slowly in the initial stages of a relationship. This isn’t like your earlier years of dating: not only do you have yourself to consider now but you have your children too. Therefore you need to be doubly sure you know and trust someone before letting him fully into your life.
A great way to make sure things move slowly is to sign up to one of the top dating sites– these let you control communication at a rate that suits you. Until you’re sure, keep all knowledge of your dates as far away from your children’s ears as you can.
Related: Top Tips for Better Online Dating
2. Be open and offer detailed explanation
Eventually you’ll meet someone, and the issue of introducing them to your children will arise. When you’re 100% sure that the person you’ve been dating is suitable enough, have a frank and open conversation with your teenagers. Sit them down and explain to them exactly what’s happening and answer all of their questions. This will make them feel included and trusted. Also, stress that your partner is not there to take over as their father or anything of that sort and should be viewed more as a friend.
3. Balance your time
A sure way to increase jealousy and resentment is to spend too much time with your new man. Make sure to balance it evenly between dating and your children. Even better, once the kids and your new partner have been introduced, try to do as much as you can all together. This will give the kids ample opportunity to get to know him and see how he could fit into their lives.
4. Practice what you preach
When it comes to house rules, make sure to be sensitive and practice what you preach. Don’t kiss passionately on the sofa or very obviously invite your partner to stay over after expressly forbidding your children exactly that. Keep it all very innocent, especially in front of the children – at least until it gets serious.
Finally, remember that you’re as entitled as anyone to find the happiness and satisfaction a romantic relationship brings. You can be a great Mom and date successfully.
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