Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It’s an endless battle, requiring blood, sweat, tears and full time hours each and every day, just to protect our children from the likes of scary, evil people like Ellen DeGeneres. (Can you hear my sarcasm?)
That’s right, comedienne, film and TV star, Ellen DeGeneres.
Ellen is tearing down civilization as we know it and it seems there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. I know what you’re going to say. “Ellen has won awards for her charitable efforts, how can she be so evil?”
Sure, you might argue, “She was named a Special Envoy by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton for her work with Global Aids Awareness, she supports over 30 charities and started Small Change Campaign to benefit Feeding America.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And you’ll probably add, “Ellen spearheaded some incredible support for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and uses her wildly popular TV talk show to enrich the lives of deserving guests, while giving away prizes and donations.”
It doesn’t matter that Ellen is a caring, giving person who helps humans and animals who can’t help themselves. So what that she uses her talent to bring smiles to millions of people everyday who may be home suffering from illness, have been impacted by the economy or for those moms who may need a little break from the daily grind of managing a household.
Ellen is bad news. I don’t know why but it’s got to be true. Why else would a group calling themselves “One Million Moms” (come on, they’re moms… they must be good people, right?) stand up and demand that JC Penney remove Ellen as spokesperson for the retailer? I mean come on, they must know something about Ellen that we — and JC Penney — don’t. Maybe she hides babies in her attic. Who knows, she could be running a dog-fighting ring we just haven’t caught wind of yet. Or perhaps she’s a heroin-addicted prostitute in her spare time.
I had to dig further so I went on over to the One Million Moms site, where I read quotes like, “Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of its customers are traditional families.” And, “DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales by offending the majority.” Wait a minute, moms would never spout hatred and venom over the mere fact that Ellen loves another woman. Would they?
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What? Hold on… that’s the real reason? Because she’s gay?
Ummmm…. okay. I take that back. I’m not afraid of Ellen DeGeneres. It’s those bigoted, closed-minded, big-mouthed moms that are raising our next generation of leaders that truly terrify me. They do realize the JC in JC Penny doesn’t actually stand for Jesus Christ, right?
See Ellen take them on in the video below.
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