The date that your teen may bring home for the holidays could be someone you want to check out after all. One in four teens report having been psychologically abused by a dating partner. One in eight report having experienced physical abuse. These aren't just trivial "guesstimates," they're national statistics furnished by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And, I am very much aware (through my professional experience) that only a very small number of these teens confide in their mothers about this. An even smaller amount open up to their fathers. Why? Because they are embarrassed, ashamed, scared of your reaction, and of the repercussions of telling you.
Related: May/December Romances: Not Good for Your Teen
Nonetheless, they need your help and your first order of business is of course to ensure their safety.
Be on the lookout for the following red flags which may indicate that your teen is involved in this type of relationship:
1. A controlling and/or possessive partner.
2. Withdrawal from friends and family.
3. Intense focus on the relationship, to the exclusion of family plans.
4. Constantly checking their (voice/text) messages, as the partner may be keeping track of where she/he is and what they're doing.
5. Unexplained bruises and heavy make-up to cover them up.
Related: I Walked in On My Teen Having Sex: Now What!?
What's a parent to do if you notice any or most of these red flags?
1. Discuss immediately with your teen in a loving and supportive manner.
2. If you must, limit their access to technology so that he/she is not bombarded by messages.
3. Help them phase out the relationship even if this means getting the help of a professional.
4. By all means, do not berate your son/daughter for their involvement in this relationship. Their self-esteem has already been chipped away at by the partner.
5. Be available to embrace your teen with your heart and your arms.
Good luck and may the holidays be safe and loving for you and your teens.
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