Why, I would like to know, do we teach our teen daughters to be demure and to minimize compliments? When did we make a collective decision to teach them about the unwritten social rule that they must never admit to liking their bodies? When did we decide to teach them to hide their good grades so they are not seen as too smart, too aggressive, bragging, or too competitive? Why, if they have a blemish, do they need to point it out to their friends immediately?
Research has even shown the negative effects our comments/behavior can have on our daughters. Some experts offer explanations as to why girls seem to falter as they enter adolescence into adulthood and offer some recommendations.
Do we teach our teenage sons to also be modest, self-conscious, and to complain constantly about their bodies? Why haven't we been telling them to be humble and to minimize their accomplishments? Why do we smile when boys high-five each other about a job well done while we would probably be embarrassed if we saw our daughters high-five each other about being in great shape.
And, please don't say that you are not a member of this group of parents. Some of you most most certainly are.
I watch grown men celebrate each others accomplishments while I see adult women gossiping about a peer who is successful. And, yes women do have a very hard time rooting for one another. I have seen this in action repeatedly. You call a good friend to share your joy only to be met with silence at the other end of the phone. Women are woefully inept at feeling joy for one another. Of course, there are exceptions but please admit that our unwritten teen social rules turn out some pretty competitive women.
Do you have any ideas how to change things and will you?
More from GalTime: