We don’t talk about this subject out loud now, do we?
And, we see this all the time. Hey, listen I’ve heard evidence of this phenomenon at the hairdresser, nail salon, at high school softball games, and at the grocery store. Mothers move in closer to each other and start to talk to one other very seriously and very competitively about their kids’ achievements, successes, activities but certainly not about their disappointments, feelings, or emotional concerns. Nope, those topics are reserved for the night when those parents are alone with both the darkness of the night and their concerns.
Now these are kids they are talking about, not careers. I’ll tell you though that it sounds a whole lot like they are talking about jobs and job advancement. And, these kids who are their current careers, in my opinion, are at risk to become highly anxious and stressed as they struggle not to let their parents down. Don’t kid yourself parents -- your kids are desperately afraid of failing you.
Want to figure out if your child has become your career? Answer the following five questions:
1. Are your child’s test grades the highlight of your day if they are excellent grades?
2. Do you quiz other parents about what their kids are up to so that you can make sure that you have all bases covered with your own kid?
3. Do you sometimes forget that you have other activities in your life that don’t involve your children?
4. When you meet up with other mothers is the primary and perhaps exclusive topic your kids
5. Is your child showing signs of perfectionism and stress?
If you have answered yes to more than one of these questions, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your life and figure out if you might just be pushing your kids too hard.
Tell us: Are you at risk of putting too much pressure on your kids?
More from GalTime.com:
- 5 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids
- Did the Kids Get the Election Right?
- Why Homework Is SO Important for Your Kids
- What Your Kids Learn From Your Marriage
Connect with GalTime on Facebook!
Dr. Barbara Greenberg, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their well-intentioned but exhausted parents. Formerly the director of an inpatient adolescent unit at a psychiatric hospital in New York for 21 years, she is now in full-time private practice. She is the co-author of Teenage as A Second Language-A Parents Guide to Becoming Bilingual (Adams Media) and the co-creator of the interactive website talkingteenage.com.