Comments for Do Your Kids Accuse You Of Ruining Their Social Lives? at http://www.galtime.com , comment 1 to 289 out of 20 comments http://www.galtime.com Wed, 08 Sep 2010 19:56:49 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5860 I think there are a lot of irresponsible and silly parents out there, but a lot of the time it's the kids that ruin it. My dad is very tolerant and trustful. I can be out until very late, as long as I tell him where I am and as long as I'm being safe. He trusts me to make the right decisions, and he's always told me that if I'm too screwed up to drive from a party he wants me to call him. He knows when I have to stay up to comfort a friend in need, or need to take care of something on my own. A friend of mine showed up around midnight a few weeks ago after a fight with his father. I offered to drive him somewhere or have him stay the night. He wouldn't and ran off when someone drove down my road, but my dad would have allowed it. When drivers ed came up, he paid for it because he wanted me to be safe and to have the ability to get myself around to a job. When I want to take my motorcycle safety class he'll allow that too. As long as it's not too obscene and gross, he'll allow me to get whatever piercing I want. When I'm seventeen and a half he's going to pay for my first tattoo. He signed for the birth control because he realized that I'm sixteen and it's better to be safe than sorry. He trusts my judgment on guys that I date, and accepts my bisexuality. He buys me things, and gives me money if I need it because I do chores around the house all the time. As long as I keep doing the chores, he gives me a reward whether we're at a bike show or I need a dress for a school dance. I respect my dad even though he has his faults, because he's made fair decisions and dealt with a lot and he still loves me. - kyrra(: Thu, 12 Aug 2010 21:56:20 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5511 in elementary school, it always felt like the extra-curricular activities I wanted weren't as important as the ones my parents wanted me to do. my mom in particular tried to choose my friends for me, and they were people I didn't even want to be friends with. I mean there was nothing wrong with them, they were just so different from me. and I don't think either of my parents have really tried to get to know me and understand just who I am. so in middle school I was really super shy and stuff and had few friends. and I'd always feel bad about not "having a life" or whatever, but then when I would occasionally go out with friends, I'd end up staying at their house for like two days and my mom would be like "OMG YOURE FINALLY HOME." my biggest issue with parents in general is a lack of consistency and insensitivity. even to this day my mom always tells me I'm too sensitive but doesn't even try to avoid hurtful comments. I can't help how sensitive I am but she CAN help what she says to me. - JackieJeopardy Tue, 13 Jul 2010 18:50:56 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5507 I know that they're trying to look out for us and don't want us to fell the pain of the mistakes they had but there is a diff between protecting someone and smothering them. I'm the youngest of 3 and 18 years old and they still treat my 21 almost 22 yearold sister like a 5year old and she's moved out on her own with her own job paying for her own insurance and lving with room mates. I am 18 yearsold and decided to stay home to go to college with a job and i'm redoing my room but if i go out the first thing i hear when i need help with something is you shouldn't have spent ur money on that movie then but if i don't go out all i hear is ur wasting ur life here y aren't u going out with ur friends before they leave for college?Idk... I'm lucky who will have parents help me out but like every teen on the planet yes everyteen has atleast once or twice wanted to slam the door in their face. - because i said so i so out Tue, 13 Jul 2010 13:13:51 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5498 I have parents too. They have taught me what I need to know as a person. All of you complaining about your parents, you need to stop. They are trying to teach you how to be in life. And maybe, your friends are high maintenance, or they give your parents attitudes. Maybe it's not your parent's fault, but your friends. If so, that's a bad friend to be around. - Fate (Nickname) Fri, 09 Jul 2010 13:35:57 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5488 ok so im just a 13 yr old girl and i cant complain bout my life. my parents recentley started to let me hang out with guys. of course they had to meet them first tho... but there is this one guy that i hang out with alot and i dont like him or anything...we are just friends. he lives down the street from me and if i ever wanna go over his house and hang out with him my parents dont care but my lil brother (hes 11) always ends up going there too! like ill get there and then like a half hoour later my parents drop him off. but anyways i was hanging out with my friends at that guys house, there were two boys two girls and my little brother, and like it was later at night and my bro was there with us all day too and i could tell everyone was getting annoyed. but what makes me really mad is that there were kids there his age too so we all told him to go hang ot with them and he wouldnt and then when we got home he told my parents i was being mean to him so i got this big lecture. most of the time im nice to him but i mean if u have a younger sibling u should understand they get annoying sometimes especislly when they are hanging out with u and ur friends! and none of my other friends have their younger siblings around when we hang out so why cant he go hang out with his friends ya know?! like i have my own social life to live. i mean i love my brother but when hes always around i feel like my friends arent gonna want to hang out with me anymore bcuz they are gonnna think he will always be there too. i mean i love him and eveything but like me and my frineds find it wired and annoying. and if i have friends over my parents always make me include my brother in absoulteley everything! and its not like i dont wanna spend time with him ever. ill hang out with him sometimes i mean hes not that bad but my mom and dad dont seem to understand that every once in a while i just want him to leave me alone. >:( - em Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:13:43 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5463 my house is exactly like that! i never want my friends to come over because i'm embarressed at the way my mom acts when ever they're here. she puts on this fake smile and she's always trying to see what we're doing and it's so annoying! plus i have a lazy ass ex-step-dad that practically lives in the garage and he'll sometimes come out and try to say hi, but he's so creepy! he's such a perve. and i'll get mad at him for looking at them the wrong way and then we'll end up fighting! ugh! then my friends never want to come over again and my mom will critizie me and make it sound like i did something wrong. - :O Thu, 08 Jul 2010 09:38:22 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5461 I wish my mom didn't make me repeat the 7th grade. It was hard to make friend again.I got made fun of me. I hated it,it was embarassing.It made me so mad.And I hate being embarass!I couldn't make friend without, "aren't you the guy that failed the 7th grade?" Then I'd have to correct and tell them my mom made me repeat. - Tommy Thu, 08 Jul 2010 09:26:44 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5459 So I love my mom to death. We have been through a lot together and I promised her at a younger age that we would be "bestest best friends forever". I do love spending time with my mom and I tell her everything. But, recently I took a job at the same hospital she works at. I see her quite often and have lunch with her. The problem is that I have not had much of a summer. My "break time" from work is when we go on vacations when it is just still my mother and I. I am on the verge of having my first boyfriend and mom approves of him, its just that I don't have any time to committ since I am working all of the time. My mom doesn't understand that I need to have more time with my friends. I'm lucky if I get to go to one social event a week. It really irks me that because we stay at work for twelve hours every week day, my mom still wants to keep me all to herself on the weekends too. I love you so much mommy but c'mon! - ccccinnamonlips2 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 08:49:23 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5445 It's really fun reading "older" people say us "13-17" whiners need to get a grip. Congrats you went to college and moved out. Good for you. STFU though since that has no immpact on this. YES, parents do try to do things in your best interest. BUT YES, they also prioritize THEIR best interests. I've NEVER had a life of my own. I have to give the 20 question report on where I'm going, with who, etc time I'm coming back, whatever. So i don't bother. My parents are the most hypocritical I've ever seen. They get on my case, and everyone else's, about things that they actually do themselves. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I haven't EVER gotten into serious trouble. Yet I'm treated like I have. Like I will. I keep to myself. Always have. My business is my own. When we lived with grandma, to take care of her and grandpa, I was NEVER allowed to go out till Dad was home. Divorced and all that. Then MAYBE an hour outside till dinner, then we weren't allowed out after. So yeah, no SHIT I'm going to be an inside person. Imagine that. I'm 21. Yet I STILL can't do things MY way. Hell, when we went to the DEQ to get the mustang up to par, dad told the guy doing the test, right in FRONT of me, that I'm still "underage". Funny. I work. I go to school. I pull like a 3.76 gpa. I help around the house. I NEVER yell at them, or rage on them, or any thing. So, now, I have a girlfriend they only THINK they know about. And I don't give a flying rats ass if they want to meet her parnts and all that crap. I have the say on that. Ever see those parents, or have those parents, that just LOVE telling YOUR embarassing stories to everyone? Yeah, thats the tip of it for me. - ALSolace Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:45:42 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5436 Usually my dad doesn't care if I'm kind of tomboyish...but my mom...I love her, but she wishes I would be girlier, which really just irks me a bit. I never was really interested much in dolls when I was younger, I found making "dirt stew" (something I did with my friends which we would fill a cup with water and throw a bunch of random stuff from outside in it, including dirt and [i]pretend[/i] to drink it) and video games more interesting, however I do have a girly side to myself. Sometimes she makes me sit down and she does my hair when I'm doing something. I'm not her dress up doll. She doesn't really like my sidebangs either, because she says it doesn't look like me, but that is me. I like my hair layered with sidebangs. She never liked computers much, and just considered cell phones a way to contact people, but ever since she's discovered Facebook, where she can talk to all her family and friends back in the Philippines, she's started to accept computers more, and she got a smartphone with internet access, and she's been happier lately, making contact with the people she left in the Philippines, so I guess that's a good sign :D /ramble - no name please (: Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:45:28 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5435 Though I am now 47, I remember much of my adolescence. And, it seems that I and my parents were very unusual. I did not have much of a social life in high school, I just didn't much like a lot of the other kids at school, though I did a lot of sports and had a lot of playing time on the football team. The unique thing is that my parents weren't strict about much of anything. I never had a strict curfew (not that I went out a lot). About smoking, they always told me to do it openly and not sneak around and lie about it, but I NEVER did it, never wanted to (although both of them smoked at that time). I did date a few girls, and they told me that there was no reason for someone to get pregnant accidentally, and offered to provide condoms if I wanted them. But when the opportunity for sex first fell in my lap (literally!) at 17, I chose not to, it just didn't feel right at that time and it scared me. My grades in high school were decent though nothing spectacular, but might have been much better. The parents never pressured me to study harder, and were not concerned about the rare low grade. They sometimes wondered why I didn't socialize more, but they didn't realize that a lot of the social activities amongst my schooolmates involved a fair amount of drugs and drinking, and I avoided them for those reasons. And, being somewhat of a loner I didn't much care. I went off to college at 18, and a lot of things changed. I actually had an active social life for the first time. My grades suddenly got much better and only improved as I progressed in college. I did a bit of drinking, but the legal age was 18 back then. I graduated with honors, then served 4 years as a naval officer, then went on to complete 2 graduate degrees. My brother's and sister's experiences were quite similar. Today, I sometimes talk to the parents about those days (they are both in their 80s), and they say that they were never very strict because they knew that it wasn't necessary. They say that they simply trusted us to make the right decisions. Somehow, their moral principles were instilled into us, even though they were rarely stated directly. I, along with my brother and sister, were very fortunate. CHS - CHS Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:44:05 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5427 I'm a sixteen year-old girl, and my parents are the like strictest people ever! They're religious, devoted Christians and pretty conservative. A few weeks ago, I went through the whole "I hate my parents" stage/phase or whateer. I was sick and fed up of the rules and restrictions my parents declared on my siblings and I(there's five of us; 4girls,1boy). Such rules like NONE of us girls are allowed to have boyfriends (my brother's only 9, so girls are like the last thing on his mind), getting good grades was mandatory, we HAVE to tell our parents where we go if we go out with friends, chores were not an option(w/ no allowance), and they wanted to know all our friends if we ever brought them home, no sleepovers, etc. I hated all the rules because I felt my parents were being so uptight about everything. But then when I actually took the time to think about it, it all made sense. Parents don't set rules because they want ruin your lives, rules are made to bring structure into your life, for disclipinary reasons, and to protect foremost. I can now understand why my dad doesn't want us to have bfs right now. It's not only b/c he thinks the relationship might lead to sex, but b/c my dad was young too, and he knows how young boys think. "Boys at your age only want one thing". and I guess it is true, too, cause I see [b]a lot[/b]of girls around me getting pregnant, and the father leaves. the girl drops out of school, that kind of stuff. Which is another thing, he says a bf will distract us from education. I understand why grades are mandatory. So you can go to a good college, make something of yourself and be successful. Even though chores may sound like a bore, but completing chores is the beginning of creating a strong work ethic. Even though we don't get allowance, doing chores is a responsibility. And being a responsible person will only help you further in the future. Another thing. Our parents always want to know who are friends are, or who we're hanging out with. I always thought that was stupid and dumb, but I get that parents always want to know where you are at all times for safety reasons. And wouldn't it be sad if your parents were asked about your friends and they couldn't answer the question? And despite all the rules, my parents are very encouraging of us. They always encourage us to work and try hard in school, pursue our passions, help others before ourself, and if any success should come to us, to be humble and appreciative. If we make a mistake, they're always there to help us correct it, and make us feel okay. What I once thought was "torture", I've actually grown to accept and respect. Your parents love you, which is why they set rules (weird, huh?!) to give you structure, discipline you, and hopefully guide you in the right direction. I mean wouldn't it suck if you came home everyday to parents who simply don't give a crap about you? I'm pretty sure if a lot of kids tried to look at rules from a different perspective as well, they'd see the whole reason behind it. Just sayin - kid Thu, 08 Jul 2010 03:39:26 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5417 Well I have been reading the comments on this post from these teens and all I can say is stop fussing over your little "my parents blah blah blah" and do something with your life. Instead of all your internet and cleaning your room parent issues, do something productive. How many of you already took high school Psych. at 14? You people are lucky, my father died when i was 12 and my mother is stricken with grief and depression, and I am still able to operate in the 98th percentile of all highschoolers in my state. I think all of you other teens should stop with your stupid friend problems and prepare for later in life. Prioritize, I can learn Psych, study independent material and still have time to play xbox 360 and work at a technology website. Pshh and you think you have problems. - William Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:37:06 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5404 [b]my dad always thinks that his things are always more important than my things!!![/b] [b]like he was playing an online game were all u do is kill other people.. and he doesent kno any of the people he plays with![/b] [b]and here i am playin a game called ROBLOX and he comes in and we were supposed to clean at the time when HE was playing his game![/b] [b]and then i say.. [quote]but im right in the middle of my game![/quote][/b] [b]and then he says [quote]wat game are u playing?[/quote][/b] [b]then i say i am playing ROBLOX and he says [quote]all you do is just build crap in it.. you can just go right back to it![/quote].. and then i said.... [quote]no i cant![/quote] he gets a mad face and says... [quote]WHY NOT! its just a stupid game!!![/quote]and i get all sad and mad and say [quote]HOW COME YOUR STUPID GAMES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY GAME?!?!?!?!![/quote] he said [quote]because, im in the middle of a server killing people with other online people![/quote]and my mouth dropped and he yelled.. [quote]just get up and clean!!![/quote] why does he think all of his stuff is always more important than my stuff!?!?!??![/b] - cameron Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:10:27 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5398 my mother insists that she has to be a part of every friend get together. she doesnt like my personality and the way i am with my friends which is me. shed rather i act like a 30 year old and not be myself. she also has to know every single person i know and if im talking to a guy if i like him or if hes my boyfriend.she says that i can be friends with a guy but i shouldnt talk to him alot. if i cant talk to someone alot and just say hi and bye why would that be friendship??? she really doesnt care about my friendships with people and considers them meaningless that it should be all about my education. i do well in school but i wanna hang out with friends. she doesnt get that. were middle eastern but i was born and raised here and am more open to American things than that of the more conservative values. - an adolescent Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:41:21 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5397 I'm a 13 y/o girl, and I love to talk to people on twitter. But every time I'm online there, my mom always scream to me and tell me to stop tweeting. Is it wrong to have friends there? I don't have friends as kind and humble as my twitter friends, but my mom always insist that real life friends are better! She doesn't know my problems with them... What should I do then? I just hope that my mom could understand my situation... - Anonymous Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:37:31 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5386 one ting that sends a bad message to teens- "because i told you so." it gives the impression that there is no reason that makes sense other than that they *have* to listen to you. - wow Wed, 07 Jul 2010 17:44:44 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5363 One thing I think parents should be careful about is pushing their beleifs on a child. (and I don't just mean religiously) I have this very issue with my mother in which she constantly stereotypes races and even looks as well as she seems to encourage anti-gay rights. And, quite honestly it is dissappointing to me that my mother would say these hurtful things. And sometimes it makes me wonder how she would react if i were to date another girl or if i looked like those people. But the worst part I believe would be that she would, no doubt, be accepting of it outwardly. But what she's thinking would most likely not change. It almost feels like someone who has been my role model all of my life has suddenly showed this huge, opinion changing flaw and, quite honestly, it hurts. - Just another teen Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:43:14 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5355 I have a good relationship with my parents some of the time. But the fact they're always pushing me to go out and do things is only making it worse I do like to do things but when I ask to do something I want I get a huge list of chores walking out of my room is like walking into a job so for the most part I do tend to hide. But then later they come banging on my door with the list of chores... I sometimes wonder if it would kill them to ask me how my day was or how i slept or if there is something I want to do today... Hey sometimes I won't have a answer but as a teen a young adult who should have more responcibility in their minds shouldn't i get some reward here? Another thing A knock walk in? what is with that? Yes I asked you to knock but what's the point if your just going to walk in anyway without even asking me if i'm decent or if I'm busy? I do have homework and I'm a writer/ artist. I do spend my time doing more than laying in bed talking on the phone... One more thing before i sound like a whiney little brat. When you go to work do people trust you when you say okay when they ask you to do something yes they do they don't repeat themselves there you don't want them to. Also if your angry and start fighting with us and we try to put something in telling us to shut up and let it go will not make us want to keep talking but yell back.. you teach us to defend ourselves yet when you attack us expect us to roll on our backs and give up. If your a parent please explain this to me because I have no Idea why you would treat your kid with the because I said so and tell them not to let people do that to you. - Because I said so is so out Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:57:31 +0100 http://www.galtime.com/index.php/home/37-family/598-sociallives#comment-5337 I'm not my sons' best friend, but we have open communication. I never lie to my kids, so they know that they can believe everything I tell them. Any questions they've asked me I've answered honestly and at their level of understanding. When I ask them about their day, it's an open ended question that requires more than a yes or no answer. I respect their feelings, and give them space when they need it. They're friends know that they are welcome and accepted when they are in my home. The result: no disrespect paid to me, rules followed to a T most times. - "Mom" Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:07:50 +0100