3 Clues You’re Dating a Keeper

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Think you’ve found ‘The One?’ Sexy? Check. Ambitious. Yep. Good looking? Oh, yeah!  Well, that’s all well and good, but those factors aren’t the only things on the checklist that matter.  

Relationship expert Lisa Steadman tells us we women often skip what really matters when determining whether we are in a relationship with ‘a keeper’.  To what should we pay attention?

It ‘feels’ right 

Sometimes, says Steadman, women tend to confuse attraction for compatibility. Attraction is important, of course, but you need to push that aside once you know that is there to look at the larger picture. 

“As women, we know what we want him to look like; maybe we even have a mental list,” says Steadman. “We need to scrap the looks list though, and write this down: How do I want love to feel?”

A man who makes you feel validated and important should get the chance to stick around — even if he’s not exactly the physical picture you envisioned.

Your personalities match or are complementary 

Whether you believe that opposites attract or that two peas in a pod are perfect, it really doesn’t matter– there is no official formula for what DOES work. There are, however,  signs when two personalities are simply not going to co-exist happily. “The key is to look for a man with a personality that plays nicely with yours,” advises Steadman.

“I love adventure, so a man who’s a homebody or couch potato would never work for me, but for others that might be the perfect guy,” she explains. “I also knew that because of my own high energy, I needed someone grounded.”

If a guy has similarities in personality to a failed relationship of the past, keep that in mind, too. If you find that it’s a struggle to just be yourself around the new person, it may be time to move on.

He treats you well

Look beyond the grand dating gestures of opening doors or pulling out your chair at dinner when determining if you should keep him around. A guy worth holding onto should make you feel good about yourself all of the time, and in subtle, natural ways.

“Someone can be the best kisser but the biggest jerk,” says Steadman. “When someone’s behavior or the way he treats you doesn’t line up with how you know you should feel, that speaks more about the relationship than anything else.”

Steadman encourages women to trust their gut and to pay attention to signs that point to an unhappy road ahead. “What he says and does will give you some pretty clear answers early on.”

Taking the time to move beyond the surface “pros” of the new man in your life can lead to a better long-term match — and a happier you.

Katie Parsons is a journalist and editor who lives on the East Coast of Florida. She contributes regularly to

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