5 Tips to Approach Anger In a New & Healthy Way
I am sure you’ve heard it before… anger is a natural normal emotion. Unlike other emotions such as happiness and surprise, anger has a rather stern way of announcing its presence.
For some this can be a bit overwhelming leading to physical and emotion reactions such as ranting, silence, avoiding conversations, and if you are like me you get out your vacuum. Sure on the outside it may appear that I have a well organized clean home however, on the inside my energy is likely to be a bit cluttered.
The truth about anger is that it is very often a signal of a core imbalance. This means your ability to remain centered and focused on what it is that you would like to create in your life is being compromised. For example, perhaps you want to create more peace and physical health, yet you see your current circumstances as an obstacle. You may have a loved one or job that requires a lot of time and energy.
As these feelings, thoughts and beliefs accumulate energetically you are likely to notice a greater distance between you and your hopes, dreams, and desires. After awhile your body might attempt to stir up some of this suppressed energy and one way it can do this is through anger.
Here are some tips for approaching anger in a new way.
1. Unplug Your Energy Daily. Anger is often a sign that we are attempting to have control to gain balance. Balance doesn’t come from control it happens from flow. Visualize yourself unplugging for other peoples energy daily. Before falling asleep at night, visualize cords releasing from your body. See it as a plug in an outlet. Your body is the outlet the cords to all the people and circumstances which draw on your energy are the plugs. Visualize each one unplugging itself while breathing in through your nose and out through your nose.
2. Anger is an emotion. The word e motion means energy in movement. Picture a pot of boiling water with a top on it. The top wants to come off. Your body wants you to move and do something different. Very often pent up energy is your body’s attempt to get you to discover your creative abilities Engaging in physical exercise or creative outlets such as art and music are productive ways to move this energy.
3. Anger is something you “do.” You cannot “be” anger. “Doing” is a form of expelling energy, “being” is gaining energy. If you are looking to create more peace in your life consider increasing opportunities to “be.” For example, go outside in nature and take time to breathe daily particularly at the beginning and end of the day.
4. Set boundaries with self and others. For example, if you tend to be a people pleaser, meaning you take on more despite the physical and mental consequences, it will be important for you to learn how to put boundaries in place. Practice by role playing in the mirror or speaking out loud short phrases such as “Thank you, but I will have to pass this time,” or “I need to look at my schedule and I will get back to you.”
5. Not all anger can be explained. There is an intuitive part to anger. I can’t tell you how many times as a mother I have gotten angry only to find out later that I was picking up on the imbalanced energy of my children. Perhaps they were on the cusp of making a poor decision or feeling angry at themselves. When I truly listen and experience the energy (heat) of anger without reactivity it often brings great clarity.
The next time you feel anger consider your body really wants you to know something. Tools such as breathing, moving your body and visualizing images of letting go (e.g. leaves falling off a tree) give you the opportunity to ride out the wave of anger so that you may receive the insight that follows.
Sherianna Boyle is an adjunct Psychology Professor and author of five books the most recent being The Four Gifts of Anxiety and Choosing Love. Her work has been featured in Psychology Today and Psych Central. She also runs a private stress therapy practice. www.sheriannaboyle.com