#Brangelina Breakup! Were There Telltale Signs?
Yeah, we couldn’t believe the news, either. According to TMZ, Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt and has requested custody of their six children: Shiloh, Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox. The two were married in 2014. Sparks flew when they first met while filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith in 2004, while Pitt was still married to Jennifer Aniston.
Reports state the official cause as “irreconcilable differences”; Jolie’s attorney told TMZ she made the decision for “the health of the family.” A point was made that no third party was involved, although TMZ cites sources as saying that Angelina didn’t agree with Pitt’s parenting style and there are hints at alleged substance abuse. We do NOT have confirmation of that.
So, what really happened; is it a surprise? GalTime relationship expert Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D., says she doubts that the split is over parenting styles. “They had much more significant stressors on their proverbial marriage plate.”
She says the two superstars were under stress “many marriages wouldn’t be able to sustain including raising multiple children and lots of separation due to work schedules etc..” Plus, Dr Greenberg adds, “Hollywood marriages are particularly difficult to sustain due to lots of temptation on set.”
We aren’t in the #Brangelina household, but Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D. does have five telltale signs that it’s time to move on:
She says the biggest mistake people make is staying too long in a relationship that is heading nowhere. If you love yourself and your partner, you owe it to both of you to look the ugly in the eye, be honest with each other, and make a courageous decision that frees you both for what you really long for: A love that actually works. Does any of this apply to Angelina and Brad? We don’t know, for sure. But, it’s worth pondering:
Sign 1: It Hurts More than it Feels Good
A happy, healthy love feels good most of the time. Sure, even good relationships include an argument every now and then, but if you feel sad, mad, or anxious more of the time than not, it’s a clear sign this isn’t the right relationship for you.
Sign 2: What You Used to Love is Now Annoying
Opposites attract and in the beginning they can create hot chemistry. But over time, those differences can breed contempt. So at first, when your outgoing boyfriend was the life of the party, maybe your shy side felt alive, important, and sexy. But now, you find his endless energy draining, and his flirtatious, extrovert behavior makes you feel insecure. Once the sparks die down, if your fundamental personality differences become the source of constant conflict, realize it isn’t fair to ask either of you to change who you are. Move on to a better fit instead.
Sign 3: You’d Rather Be Somewhere, Anywhere Else
At the start of a romance, you want to be together all of the time. You text and call constantly and spend every available moment together. While it’s normal for that to die down to allow back in your other interests, if you find you just feel apathetic about being together, avoiding his calls, or always scheduling some girl time instead, that’s a red flag alert. Apathy about your partner has an even worse prognosis than vicious fighting, because if you are bored and just don’t care anymore, it usually means your connection has run it’s course. Better to part as friends now.
Sign 4: You Keep Having the Same Old Fights
The mark of a relationship that works is being able to resolve conflicts to create a deeper connection. If you keep fighting over the same issues, over and over, with very little progress, it’s a clue that a fundamental part of your personalities just isn’t the right match. You might as well admit that you don’t naturally meet each others needs and move on to a partner who doesn’t have to twist himself into a pretzel to be your dream guy.
Sign 5: You’ve Developed a Wandering Eye
When you’re really into a guy, you naturally only have eyes for him. It’s as if your guy-dar turns off and no other man exists in the world. If suddenly your barista is looking sexy, you’re making excuses to talk to the cute co-worker in the next cubicle, or you’ve accepted a lunch offer from your ex, chances are your heart has become curious about new possibilities.
By paying attention to the most obvious signs that it’s time to move on, you can honor both yourself and your partner and give both of you the biggest gift of all: The freedom to find a love that’s meant to last.
At this point, we wish everyone the best, especially the six littlest Jolie-Pitts caught up in the breakup.
Feature photo: Courtesy: https://www.instagram.com/angelinajolieofficial/
Need a little more GalTime?:
- Why Guy Friends Are Better After a Breakup
- 3 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Bed
- 4 Things You Should NEVER Do After a Split
- Top Relationship Tips from A Therapist Who Has Heard It All