Marriage Meetings: #1 on Your Agenda?
I have an amazing wife. I can still say that after a dozen years of marriage. Seriously, we barely argue, and I can honestly say she is my best friend. The issue is, we try so hard to make each other happy that we often aren’t open about what bothers us about the other person. They are little things, but little things add up.
I know we aren’t alone. I can’t imagine a couple who has been married for any length of time not going through something like this. We actually realized what we were doing. To prevent a pressure-cooker type explosion down the road (the angst has to go somewhere after a while!), we became proactive.
Once a week we have a “Marriage Meeting.” This is a time that we set aside once a week to talk about things that might be bothering us, or to just tell the other something that we appreciate about them. There are some rules that sound easy, but can be a little more challenging than you would think.
1. Schedule it— in ink
The meeting should be held at the same day and time every week. No skipping! Because if you skip one, they will start to become optional. That defeats the whole purpose.
2. Back and forth
Each partner has one turn to state something that is on their mind or bothering them.
One partner talks, the other listens. This is not a discussion; anything said is to be listened to only…. no responding. This gives each person time to think about what the other has said and then work on a solution.