Why You Need The 5 W’s to Spell L-O-V-E

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Questions to ask on a date

You’re on a date. The guy across the table says he loves mountain climbing and spends every free moment outdoors. Suddenly, you pipe up that you just bought a new pair of hikers, making it seem like you are on the trails every weekend. The truth: those hikers are more to traipse around antique fairs than climb Everest.

Why do so many of us tend to mold to a stranger’s likes and dislikes immediately on a first date? Easy– we want a second date!

Time to reframe the conversation. Women (and men) don’t want dates, but the RIGHT dates— you know, the kind that turn into relationships. The only way for that to happen is to consider what we want and need to be happy before thinking about whether we tick off boxes for the person across the table.

The best way to address dating goals is to become an investigative reporter and ask a few basic questions before hopping back on the dating merry-go-round. And of course, we’ll approach it Guy’s Guy style so everyone can win.

Who? –

There is no better place to begin than by asking who we are at this point in time. Many daters are not in touch with themselves and as a result they continually chase after people they think will make them happy.

If we take the time to slow down and explore our hearts we might find that we have been putting our emotional eggs into the wrong baskets. If you don’t know who you are and what makes you tick how can you really know someone else that you want to give your heart to?

This is the critical step for finding the right partner. In advertising terms, it’s called knowing your brand.

What? –

This is another critical question to ask before beginning another dating cycle. Many women have a list of criteria they expect in a partner. Maybe it’s money, a certain occupation, a physical look, style or even a specific attitude. Nothing wrong with having parameters, but instead of simply asking ourselves what we want, let’s consider what we have to offer a potential partner.

If we ask ourselves what we have to offer, we’ll be more realistic about the type of person we can attract.

Where? –

I recently read a book by a prominent dating coach to help women find and meet men. I was amazed that this had become such an issue. There are guys everywhere and a simple smile will usually get their attention. The bottom line is to fish where the fish are. If you want to meet men, you may have to hit some bars, ball games, ski slopes and gyms. You can also meet lots of cool dudes in wine tasting or cooking classes, tech stores, libraries, the museum, the laundry mat, book stores, running clubs, and on and on. Guys are omnipresent and usually approachable. Meeting them is more a function of your attitude.

When? –

Nowadays we’re all so busy with our career nowadays that we say we don’t have time to invest in dating. Okay, but just like anything else in life, you get out what you put into it. So if you are seeking a partner, you’re going to have to meet new people and that takes time.

Why? –

Hey, Guy’s Guy, between all the circumspection, knowing my brand and fishing where the fish are, this dating business really does takes up a lot of time. Why am I doing all of this? A-ha. That’s the magic question. Go ahead and ask yourself. And then ask yourself who, what, where and when before jumping back into the dating pool. Hopefully you’ll be more prepared to meet a partner that’s right for you.

Are you asking yourself the right questions when it comes to dating?

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