The Things Parents Don't Want to Think About! | Parenting
I watched as the parents of middle schoolers and high school kids were aghast and turned a little more than pale. We were in mid-discussion about teen sexuality and I informed them that oral sex is not uncommon among teenage girls. In fact, I told them, up to 58% of teen girls between the tender ages of 15 and 19 have been reported to have engaged in oral sex. Sometimes this accompanies intercourse and sometimes it does not. And trust me when I tell you this was not a group of parents who were out of touch with their culture. They were simply unaware of the normalization and acceptance of oral sex among teenagers.
Why, they wanted to know would girls be doing this? What's in it for them? Well, there are a few reasons their daughters get involved in this sort of activity.
1. They technically remain virgins even if they engage in this behavior.
2. Teenage girls are often confused and painfully aware of the power of their sexuality and begin to experiment with it.
3. It is increasingly common among teens and behavior, just like mood and illness, is contagious among groups who spend time together.
The parents asked me and each other what to do.
The parents suggested:
1. Taking away the girls cosmetics and lipstick. I am not kidding here.
2. Banning them from all parties until graduation.
3. Teaching them about masturbation.
1. Talking to their teens about oral sex before they are invited to engage in it ,so they will have a response ready.
2. Educating their teens about STDs associated with this type of sexual activity.
3. Talking to their daughters about peer pressure and acceptance. There are certainly other ways to fit in.
4. Remind them about the power of reputations.
5. Talk to them about the connection between sexuality and intimacy.
Your additional thoughts about this distasteful topic?
Barbara Greenberg and Jennifer Powell-Lunder are authors of the hit book, "Teenage as a Second Language: A Parent's Guide to Becoming Bilingual." They've set up an interactive website for parents and teens to listen, learn and discuss hot topics and daily dilemmas. You can find it at www.talkingteenage.com.