What To Do When You See a Parent Losing It In Public | Parenting

Yep, I saw it yet again. A mother and a teenager daughter were arguing in my favorite store where I love to go and browse the merchandise. Sometimes, though, I get to see more than I bargained for. In this most recent episode, the mother and daughter were bickering and the mother said loud enough and probably for me to hear, "You see_____(insert daughter's name) people are watching us."

Yes, I am sure that the mother was frustrated and thought that by conveying this message to her daughter that the daughter would realize the error of her ways and calm down. Instead, the mother probably accomplished nothing other than irritating her daughter further. And, frankly, I was much more interested in selecting the perfect birthday card than in becoming a member of this mom's fan club.

Now, it is a totally different story when I see something like this. Here I am again in a large department store and a parent begins to scream at a child for fussing, whining, begging, etc. Or it's this scenario -- you are in a parking lot and you see a parent slap a child across the face.

How about this one? A parent says something humiliating to their child publicly like,"You are acting like such a girl" to a boy or "I'll give you something to cry about" to a child with an already tear-stained face.

What's the observing parent to do in these situations? The answers vary but here are some guidelines. Feel free to add some more.

1. If it's a situation like the one above between the mother and teenager where they are simply getting on each others nerves and no one is getting harmed, I suggest you MYOB. Yes, sometimes minding your own business is a good idea. By the time they get home and get some food and rest they'll most likely be fine. They don't need your two cents.

2. If you witness a frustrated parent talking loudly or yelling at a child then you may want to defuse the situation by giving the parent a little moral support. How about saying something like-'We've all been there. Things get easier." This is not guaranteed to be helpful but if done calmly and quietly I have seen it be very effective and soothing.

3. If you believe that the verbal or physical behavior of the parent is abusive, then I do suggest that you consider calling the police. Remember, research shows that abusive words can do as much harm as hitting or punching and that the old adage "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" is simply NOT true. Words can harm even more than sticks and stones.

These situations are ambiguous in nature. You don't ever really know what is going on and what the nature and history of the relationship is. I am not suggesting that you patrol stores to be on the lookout for less than perfect parents. I am suggesting instead that we become a community that is accountable to one another.

Your thoughts?