When the Teacher is the Bully | Parenting

I remember 7th grade as if it was yesterday. My bully was "Lisa K," who sat in front of me. "Howie G's" bully was, however, NOT a peer. It was the teacher. Even then, I knew that something was very wrong when our English teacher told him "that she'd like to wipe up the floor with his face."

This was in response to his talking without being called on. I have never forgotten this incident and often wonder how it has affected "Howie's" memories of middle school.

Teaching is a noble profession and I like to think that most teachers enjoy both teaching and motivating students. On the other hand, I am distressed by the results of a study by Stuart Twemlow, MD, published in The International Journal of Social Psychiatry.

These results suggest that teacher bullying may be more common than we think. In an anonymous survey of 116 teachers at elementary schools 45% admitted to having bullied a student at some point during their teaching career. Bullying in this study was defined as the misuse of power-using it to denigrate, punish, or manipulate a student. I am quite sure that this also involves some form of feeling both humiliated and embarrassed on the student's end.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a great deal of respect for the men and women in this profession. A few bad apples, however, can have a lot of impact on a child's life.

Warning Signs for Parents to Look For:

1. Your child suddenly starts to complain about a specific class.

2. Grades drop in a formerly favorite subject.

3. Your child is no longer eager to go to school.

4. Your child tells you that a teacher doesn't like her/him.

When To Monitor the Situation

If any of the above are happening then talk to your child. Get all of the information including exactly what the teacher is saying and how your child is behaving. Perhaps, your child needs to modify her attitude toward the teacher. Often, when kids say that their teachers don't like them it is actually the child disliking the teacher. You may want to point out to your child that in life you need to learn to get along with all kinds of people with different personality styles.

When to Step In
On the other hand, if the teacher is humiliating your child publicly or privately then you must take action and intervene. If you are going to intervene, tell your child. And, when you do so, approach the teacher with a positive and cooperative attitude. Kindness goes far. Remember, even teachers are humans and make errors. If you and the teacher can't figure things out then and only then should you go to a higher level administrator.

I am a firm believer in respecting the hierarchy and the chain of command. I am a stronger believer in treating one another with dignity and respect.

Your thoughts? have you or your child ever been bullied by a teacher?

Barbara Greenberg PhD is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of teens and their families. She is the co-author of Teenage as A Second Language and the co-creator of the website http://www.talkingteenage.com/. She is a parenting expert for Galtime and appears in the media frequently to discuss timely teenage issues. She writes for several publications and is the Teen Doctor for Psychology Today.