Think you’ve found “Mr. Right?” While you’ve probably already rated his looks, career and sexiness on your own mental scale, there are some other things to consider.
Relationship expert Lisa Steadman says that women tend to look at all the wrong things when determining the worth of a new relationship. We need to get clear about how love should feel, not just look,” she says. Here are her 3 ways to tell whether he’s someone to hold onto:
HE MAKES YOU FEEL THE RIGHT WAY.
The physical attraction that goes along with a new relationship can often overshadow some of the larger issues of compatibility, and women should be wary of this fact.
“As women, we know what we want him to look like; maybe we even have a mental list,” says Steadman. “We need to scrap the looks list though, and write this down: How do I want love to feel?”
A man who makes you feel validated and important should get the chance to stick around — even if he’s not exactly the physical picture you envisioned.
HIS PERSONALITY MATCHES OR COMPLEMENTS YOURS.
Depending on who you ask, the best relationships are between two peas in a pod or they gel because opposites attract. There’s no official love formula that works for every couple on the planet, but there are signs when two personalities are simply not going to coexist happily. “The key is to look for a man with a personality that plays nicely with yours,” advises Steadman.
“I love adventure, so a man who’s a homebody or couch potato would never work for me, but for others that might be the perfect guy,” explains Steadman. “I also knew that because of my own high energy, I needed someone grounded.”
If a guy has similarities in personality to a failed relationship of the past, keep that in mind, too. If you find that it’s a struggle to just be yourself around the new person, it may be time to move on.
HE TREATS YOU WELL.
Look beyond the grand dating gestures of opening doors or pulling out your chair at dinner when determining if you should keep him around. A guy worth holding onto should make you feel good about yourself all of the time, and in subtle, natural ways.
“Someone can be the best kisser but the biggest jerk,” says Steadman. “When someone’s behavior or the way he treats you doesn’t line up with how you know you should feel, that speaks more about the relationship than anything else.”
Steadman encourages women to trust their gut and to pay attention to signs that point to an unhappy road ahead. “What he says and does will give you some pretty clear answers early on.”
Taking the time to move beyond the surface “pros” of the new man in your life can lead to a better long-term match — and a happier you.
2 Comments on “3 Clues He’s a Keeper”
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