Getting dumped can suck, but most guys are used to it. We’ve either gotten the heave-ho ourselves or known guys who have. And though we tend jump right back into the dating pool, the pain can linger. That’s why it’s only right that when it’s our turn to sever ties, we do it thoughtfully, taking the high road whenever possible. Here are my five Guy’s Guy tips for manning up for a break up….even if you’re a woman.
Break up in person
That means no disappearing or ending things by text or phone. Pick a public location, preferably outdoors with lots of people in motion. (Sitting face-to-face in a crowded restaurant can end up a little awkward. What’s left to talk about?) Pick someplace like a park, where you can sit side-by-side watching good-looking people run, walk, and bike past you. This will remind your soon-to-be-ex that the world keeps turning and is filled with potential new partners.
BE DIRECT WITHOUT PLACING BLAME
You’ve given the relationship a chance and now you’re just not feeling it. That’s okay. Just take a deep breath and tell him or her how you feel—without blame, detailing every irritating habit (snorting while laughing notwithstanding). Bottomline: It’s not about either one of you. It’s about “us,” and “us” simply isn’t working anymore.
No one likes being rejected, especially after baring body and soul. Opening up emotional windows leaves people understandably vulnerable. So be mindful and choose words that avoid piling on additional hurt, even if it might help in the long run to hear the truth. And when it’s over, that’s it. No mind games. Move on. Period.
No matter how upset the break-up-ee gets, keep in mind that ultimately, no one wants a partner who isn’t totally into him or her. And if he is as cool as you think he was for dating you, he’ll move on quickly. That’s a good thing for both of you.
Robert Manni is author of the novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, host of Guy’s Guy Radio and syndicated blogger. He’s also a Reiki Master and teacher, certified advanced clinical Master Hypnotist and a bona fide “Guy’s Guy.”