How is your red flag meter? You know, those blaring signs that someone isn’t right for you…those signs so many of us make excuses for or ignore.
Men and women run right through red flags like a bull in Barcelona. We all make mistakes until we find our perfect mate. Women, however, tend to turn a blind eye more than guys do, especially women into so-called boys.
The “whys” and “what-fors” in regard to turning a blind eye to a partner’s bad behavior is probably an issue better left up to a different kind of professional. But I can certainly share with you what flashing red lights you ought not to ignore – ever. Now, in most cases, people spot these problems early on and manage to extricate themselves from the relationship. But for those of you who need a reminder of some real reasons for you and your partner to consciously uncouple, I’ve got five for you:
1. THERE’S NO ATTRACTION.
Do NOT let anyone guilt you into trying to build a non-existent attraction for some guy who may look good on paper, but in no way whatsoever makes you even a teeny tiny bit weak-in-the-knees. Give it a couple of dates if you must, but feel free to move on if the sparks don’t start flying soon. You can’t manufacture attraction.
2. HE OR SHE IS RUDE TO SERVICE WORKERS.
There’s an old saying that “you can judge a person’s character by the way they treat people who can’t do anything for them.” And I agree with that. But on the flip side, you can also learn a lot about a person by the way they treat people whose job it is to serve them.
There’s nothing more rude and disrespectful than someone humiliating a waiter or customer service person over some minor mistake or unintentional slight. It’s a power trip that very likely could end up being directed at you at some point.
3. THIS PERSON IS ABUSIVE.
Abuse: Mentally, emotionally or physically. No need to explain it to you. You know what you need to do. Don’t allow this to happen to you. Male or female.
4. THEY’RE ALWAYS TOO BUSY FOR YOU.
You have no idea how many women make excuses for their “busy” guys. “I’d love for us to spend more time together, but he’s always too busy working.” Really? Too busy? I’ll bet he’s finding time to stop by for a little roll in the sack.
Look, I wish more women would understand this very basic fact about guys: If he’s really interested, he’ll FIND THE TIME. That guy is going to want to make sure that no other guy can swoop in and sweep the woman on which he’s set his sights off her feet. Period. No ifs, ands, butts, or maybes. A guy being too busy for the woman he wants DOES NOT EXIST.
5. YOU HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON.
It’s right out of a Sandra Bullock movie. Two completely opposite people meet and, in spite of their polar opposite personalities, they fall in love. Opposites attract! Well…sort of.
It’s quite common for people with disparate dispositions to meet, fall in love and spend a long life together. She’s outgoing and he’s quiet. He loves meat and potatoes and she’s a vegetarian. But those are surface differences. Dig a bit deeper into those couplings and you’re likely to discover that those two people are far more alike than you would have ever guessed. At their core, they share major core values. They both value their time with family. They both laugh at the same kind humor. They both have a shared love of travel. Sure it may seem that they’re completely mismatched, but in reality their cores have great synergy. Our differences make us interesting and unique…our similarities keep us together.