Holidays and the Single Girl | Love & Sex

Holidays and the Single Girl

As someone who spent most of her life being single, I know how difficult it can be to be alone during the holidays. In fact, I remember one time when another single friend and I knocked back a bottle of wine and then poured some crème de menthe on our ice cream just to numb the feeling of being single during yet another season of ‘togetherness.’

Even though we had a great time that night as we laughed over a Jersey Shore marathon, I realized are much more constructive things one can do to avoid feeling lonely over the holidays.

For starters,  I hosted a party and invited all my single friends. Although no love matches were made that night, everyone had a great time and a few new friendships resulted. With the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season here, it’s the perfect time to host a singles’ party. “A holiday mixer party where you invite your friends to invite their single friends whom you don’t know” is a great way to make the holidays more fun, says Michael Estepp, a writer from Los Angeles.

Estepp adds that hosting a party can also be used as an opportunity to decorate your home or to bond over some classic holiday movies with guests. If money is tight, ask everyone to bring a dessert and/or an ornament or decoration. You might also consider doing a small gift exchange or playing some games as ice breakers. A little creativity can go a long way when it comes to livening up the party, and it just might bring you closer to your future Valentine!

Each Christmas, Amy Saffell, a vibrant single woman from Tennessee, gets together with friends as a way to get into the holiday spirit. “My friends and I don’t typically spend money on gifts, but we try to get together and do something as our ‘present’ to each other. For example, a hotel here in town decorates for the holidays; so last year, we went there and had dinner and then went to look at lights outside, while another group went to the big Christmas parade.”

Estepp adds that another option for an outing is to hit a local spa, since many of them offer packages at discount prices when people book sessions as a group. Some spas even host special holiday events or serve hot chocolate and other goodies to their patrons.

Stacie Ikka, founder of dating consultancy Sitting In A Tree, reminds us that—single or not—the holidays are a good time to give back to those in need in our communities. Engaging in community service is a wonderful way to meet new people and lift your spirits because you’re doing something of benefit for someone else.

“One Christmas Eve, my former husband and I bought donuts and hot chocolate from a local store and then gave them out to the homeless. Although some people refused the goods, many were appreciative. Overall, it was a rewarding experience and one I’ll never forget,” Ikka says.

Charity work is something single ladies can do whenever they have free time or when they are feeling lonely. There are also plenty of volunteer opportunities that don’t cost a dime, like serving food at a soup kitchen or lending a hand at a holiday party at a local homeless shelter. Just as with hosting a mixer, you can ask your single friends to join you and to bring along their single friends. Remember, the more, the merrier!

Kelly Torlay Raines, of New Jersey, agrees. Now married, Raines offers a unique suggestion for single ladies looking for affection. “I think volunteering at a senior home or senior citizen center holiday dance is a wonderful activity to do with girlfriends. Helping out with the party and even dancing with the seniors is a fantastic idea. Being a supportive member of the community really is a great example of the spirit of the season.”

If all else fails, consider grabbing some eggnog and cozying up to your computer to peruse some online dating sites. It worked for me, even though I wasn’t convinced it would. And when my boyfriend kissed me under the mistletoe yesterday, I was so glad I gave it a try. (Oh, did I mention I also asked Santa for a little help in finding that special someone? I guess I must’ve been extra nice last year!)

Happy holidays to all my single readers. I hope you meet the man of your dreams this holiday season!

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