There are plenty of good- and some not so good- reasons to sleep with your ex. How can you tell whether you’re justifying a bad thing to yourself or if it’s really not a big deal? Let me start by saying that feeling guilty is not a good guide. Our culture has many conflicting ideas of what’s appropriate, and we’ve been trained from childhood to feel guilt at the slightest provocation, that guilt by itself is not a reliable sign of wrong-doing.
There’s something hot about sex with an ex. Not only does it feel slightly naughty, but scientifically speaking, hormones start raging that are designed to make it feel really erotic.
First let’s identify some good reasons to sleep with your ex. Just be sure to use birth control unless you want a child.
- You’re both still single, you’ve been separated for awhile when you run into each other and reconnect. Think of it as reminiscing about good times past.
- You still care for each other and may be considering a reunion. In this instance, the hot sex will make it easier to forgive each other’s transgressions. In fact, lots of relationships get back on track thanks to hot make up sex.
- You’ve made an agreement (in advance) to be friends with benefits until you’re ready for another serious relationship.
Here are some signs that it’s time to stop sleeping together:
- Sex with your ex is keeping you from dating. You compare every potential date with your ex and they all come up short.
- You have more sex now than you did when you were together. Sometimes that hot sex can blind you to the reasons you broke up in the first place.
- You feel worse, not better, after you have sex. Whether you call it intuition, your gut, or just a feeling, your sixth sense will tell you whether and when it’s time to stop having sex with your ex.