These are supposed to be columns about the general dynamic between men and women and how we do and don’t relate and communicate well. But sometimes I like to make these columns about me. Because there are times I simply don’t “get it” and I need your input for a little clarity. I’m certain to be in the minority on this topic (especially as a guy) but I’m not really sure I’m into the idea of the “Headboard Boogie” after a big argument. Full disclosure, I’m pretty much ready to rock ‘n’ roll anytime. Exceptions being if I’m dog tired — and even then I’ve been known to rally — OR if I’m watching the Raider game.
But this make up sex thing…I don’t know. I don’t completely understand it. Because if I’ve just been in a heated argument with a girlfriend, the last thing I want to do is knock her boots! <— shout out to the ’80’s y’all!
Seriously, I don’t know how people can go from one extreme emotional expression to another so quickly. Give me a little time to cool off. I raise an eyebrow each and every time some friend of mine, male or female, talks about how they and their significant other got into a huge to-do and then ended up in the sack. How does this happen?
This isn’t like when we were all ten-year-olds and we’d fight with our best friend and scream about how much we hated that friend—then thirty seconds later all would be good.
“I hate you! You keep copying me! Stop copying me!! I’m not your friend anymore!! Hey…let’s go watch cartoons.”
Yeah, you remember those days…well they’re over. One of the great things about a strong relationship is that inherently, its strength is derived from its ability to withstand strong disagreements. So the couple can disagree, argue sometimes with great vitriol, and then rally with and apology or a truce with both sides retiring to their respective corners.
But how the heck does this lead to sex? I’ll even admit to hooking up with someone whom I didn’t particularly like. Not the nicest lady in the world. Actually, she wasn’t well-liked by many people…but she was pretty hot. The opportunity was there. I took it. But that was purely a physical thing. I would think that most people would be like me when it came to this whole make up sex thing though: I’m simply unable to separate the emotion from the act when it involves someone with whom I have a strong emotional connection. And the very thought of being intimate with that person right out of a big argument or disagreement seems weird to me.
How do people do that? Is it just the pure, raw emotion? If so, is it not a little odd that you get turned on when you’re angry?
Seems a little serial killer-ish to me.
So why does it seem like every time I turn around there’s some peeps extolling the thrills of make up sex – sometimes even saying it’s the best they’ve ever had? Really? It’s better after a fight than when you both are happy, excited, and thrilled to be spending time together? What the heck am I missing?
Maybe I’m the weird one here. You tell me…are you into it? Maybe I’ve got it all wrong? What am I missing?